Man Overboard

‘Round these parts, we roll pretty high class. Birthday parties? Psh. No problem! We’ll just head on down to the beach and waste the day away.


On Sunday, The Hubbs, The Princess and I all headed over to Grump Manor for my Pop’s impromptu shindig. Kayaks were loaded into the truck, along with a cooler and some dinkies (PB&J cut into quarters…it’s a Grump Family Tradition, don’tchaknow!), and we all headed to their neighborhood park with our swimmin’ gear.

After unloading the truck, Pop drove back up to the house and came back on his bike. It’s a small neighborhood with narrow roads, so there’s no parking on the street. Once he rejoined the gang, we all happily paddled around the swimming area for a while before I was convinced that I just had to try out one of their new kayaks.

I’ve never been in a kayak before. And I want to make sure y’all understand that I ain’t a canoe gal, either. The damn things are too tipsy for my liking; I prefer a traditional boat, thankyouverymuch. So, you can imagine my uncertainty about the whole kayak thing after hearing that they’re as tipsy as, if not more than, canoes.

I. Want. One. It was a little goofy-feeling at first, but I got the hang of it pretty quickly. Before long, I was off and paddling, making quick turns, and loving it.

Seeing how much fun I was having, The Hubbs wanted in, so he hopped in the other after a little bit of instruction from Grumpa, and he headed my way. About three strokes in, he flipped right over. No big deal, right? The water was shallow, and there really wasn’t much to worry about.

And then I realized his glasses were gone. My blind-as-a-bat hubby was standing in the middle of the swimming area at the Grump Neighborhood Beach, trying to get his head on straight while righting the kayak, which had – of course – filled to the brim with water.

Now you have to understand, the water around here looks nothing like it does in Hawaii or the Caribbean. Up here, it’s boats galore, churning up all the muck from the bottom of the lake, effectively creating this charming brown sheen that you can’t get just anywhere.

Makes it a little hard for treasure diving. Even with my mask on, I couldn’t see the bottom. No kidding, I actually ran into the bottom with my face a couple of times trying to see what was going on around me. We really needed to find those glasses, but how?

Oh, and I should probably tell you about the stinkin’ zebra mussels, while we’re at it. Somehow, these horrific little creatures have made it into our waterways where they don’t belong. Our previously sandy (okay, mucky, but still not ouchy) swimming area is now infested with thousands upon thousands of these things, all the better to slice your toes open with.

Kicking off our water shoes, Grumma and I began to comb the bottom ever so carefully with our feet. After a lot of rigamarole and a few choruses of “You’ll never find them,” Grumma announced the impossible. She had them, and they weren’t even scratched!

After that, the rest of the afternoon went fine. The Hubbs and The Princess stayed at the beach with Grumma while Grumpa and I paddled our happy little butts all over the place. We ended up veering back into a glass-smooth channel lined with lily pads, coming within twenty feet of a Great Blue Heron who regarded us as though we belonged there. For quite a while, we simply floated in the traffic-free channel and marveled at the bird and his surroundings. It was so peaceful.

Eventually, we had to head back. We’d been at the beach for a few hours, and you all know what water, fresh air and sunshine can do to you. Needless to say, we were all famished (the dinkies having vanished long ago, of course). So Grumpa rode his bike back up to the house to retrieve the truck, and we all headed back for some chicken on the grill (Grumpa’s specialty).

Sure, between K-Bear’s party and this time with The Grumps, we had a busy weekend. But it was oh so very worth it. I wouldn’t trade one minute of those two days for anything…even the whole “man overboard” debacle. Makes for a good story, eh?

It’s times like these, when we’re spending time with family out on the lake, when I am at my happiest. I can’t wait to get back over there and go for round two on the kayaks…after securing The Hubbs’ glasses with a floatation device, that is. ;)