Celebration: A Day (Mostly) In Pictures

In case you missed it, The Princess just turned six years old on the 11th of this month.  Since she was a wee one, she has not been able to deal with crowds, noise or parties in general.  Because of this, the last birthday party with more than five people in attendance was when she turned one.

Lately, though, The Princess has been showing off her developing self-calming skills and an amazing ability to cope with - and even, in some cases, enjoy - family parties.  Feeling adventurous, I decided a couple of months ago that we'd throw her a big party for her sixth birthday.

The party was this past Saturday, less than 24 hours after I stepped off a plane after spending the week working in San Francisco.  The festivities took place at Nana's house, where she and Auntie J absolutely knocked it out of the park.  Their parties are always amazing, and I have to say I am so thankful to the two of them for pulling this together for me.  I never, ever would have been able to do this without them...and not just because we live in an 800 square foot house!

We had about 20 people there, and The Princess did amazingly well.  She retreated to quiet spaces a few times, but for the most part she was involved in the party.  Running full tilt back and forth across the great room counts as being involved, right?  Right.  It's her party.  She can run if she wants to.

The theme was polka dots, and Nana and Auntie J found some amazingly adorable stuff.  Without further ado, here are a few of my favorite pictures:

The party room, including some of the coasters I crocheted (my contribution to the polka dot decorations).  The Princess's cousin K had fun running around and matching all the colors.

One of the lovely tables, decorated with polka dot whirly flowers, polka dot runners (handmade by my wonderful MIL and SIL), squiggly balls, Skittles, Smarties and Gummi Worms.  Oh, and some of my coasters, too.

I loved the whirly flowers.  What a cute idea for centerpieces!  You can also see the paper lanterns hanging from the chandelier in the background.  These gals are so clever.

Auntie J asked me eons ago for pictures - she had seen an idea online of putting up a banner of the birthday girl at all ages up until now, and I loved the idea.  Of course, I totally spaced on the pictures and completely forgot about it until I got there to see she had gone ahead with pics she already had.  Thank you, doll.  This is something I will cherish forever.

The dessert table: Oreos and Rice Krispy treats on the left, and homemade German Chocolate cake and yellow cake with cream cheese frosting (my contributions) on the right.  I love to bake, and I make everything from scratch because of my extremely inconvenient soy allergy.  It's nice to b able to share some of this stuff with more than just my little crew.

 

Loot pile!  She made out like a bandit.  Check out the fabulous polka dot birthday banner.

And here we are ripping into the presents.  This particular gift is from a beloved great auntie and great uncle, and it's a super-cool kid friendly MP3 player with an internal speaker and headphones.  The Princess smiles when I start the music and put the headphones on her, but she doesn't leave them on very long yet.  We'll work on using this a few minutes a day until she gets used to it.  I'm hoping it will join the ever-growing ranks of self-calming techniques she has begun to collect...and it would fit nicely in my purse!

I just had to include this one...from another beloved great auntie and uncle, she received a Fisher Price remote control and a V-Tech phone.  Both have buttons that light up and play music when pushed.  She is in love.

Singing to our girl.  I have to admit I got a little emotional here.  In the past, we've always sung Happy Birthday in our whisper voices.  This year, there were about 20 of us, and we sang at a normal volume.  She clapped with the rest of us and ran around for the rest of the afternoon singing the melody until we left to go home.

Another first: blowing out her birthday candles.  She has just learned how to blow within the last couple of months.  We brought out the cake, showed her what to do, and she did it.  Did you hear me?  She did it.  That last candle?  She blew it out all by herself.

Who doesn't love cake?

The four cousins.  From left to right, it's E, A, K and C (The Princess).  I just realized that if we were to put them in order from oldest to youngest, their initials would spell CAKE.  And, again, who doesn't love CAKE?

I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am of this little girl.  She did an amazing job at her birthday party, and I absolutely adore the fact that she is feeling more and more comfortable at these family gatherings.

Thanks again to Nana and J for pulling this together for me.  I owe you, ladies.

And, Pop?  Thanks for taking over my camera so I could be in the action. 

Breaks

I've already said goodbye, and I'm standing on the sidewalk arranging my luggage so I don't drop a bag.  The Hubbs inches the car forward, and The Princess's eyes get bigger. 

I start to walk slowly toward the terminal, unable to take my eyes off of her.  At this point, I'm craning my neck to keep eye contact.  Her eyes get even bigger.

She reaches out, opens her mouth as if to say something, and it closes again with a jutting lower lip.

They pull away and I turn to go through the automatic doors.

My heart breaks.

Seeing Clearly

In every life, there are events which - when looking back - obviously change a person forever.  They say hindsight is 20/20, and as I look back I realize they're right; in fact, I've never seen anything more clearly.

1985: I'm four years old, walking hand-in-hand with my daddy.  Momma Lady and Hambone lead the way into the roller rink where we're about to attend our first lesson.  Little do I know that I will grow up in this building, visiting it at least three times every week until just after my sixteenth birthday, making lifelong friends and discovering a love for physical activity.  And speed.  Especially speed.  The kind that leaves the boys in my dust with their mouths hanging open in amazement.

1996: On a CB foxhunt with Hambone, I meet a boy.  I'm fifteen, and he is intriguing, edgy and a little bad.  He drives a Camaro and teaches me about rebuilding engines.  He feeds my need for speed by helping me learn to drive cars and ride a motorcycle.  Together, we race headlong into some really scary territory where we really don't belong.  The wind feels great in my hair, right up until we learn what it's like to hit a metaphorical brick wall at 240 mph.  I see now that while all this speed can be fun, it's also dangerous...and maybe not always worth the risk.

2001: I fall into a job, working as a temp at a database management company.  Keeping with the theme of moving fast, I quickly master the skills necessary to do the job.  Over the next eight and a half years, I keep moving fast, advancing through the company and pay grade at breakneck speed.  Out of nowhere, after nearly nine years of service with the company, I'm thrown under the bus.  They need a scapegoat, and they choose me.

2005: After a year and a half of the easiest dating of my life, things fall into place.  I'm not running anymore.  I'm walking hand-in-hand with the man you all know as The Hubbs.  We fit.  There's nothing to run from, so we slow down.

2007: The Hubbs and I ecstatically welcome our third child, the only human kid we have at this point.  The Princess brings joy and light into our lives in ways we never thought possible.

Today: Our girl is six years old.  I can hardly wrap my head around this concept; it feels like she was just born yesterday...but in so many ways, I can't even remember what it was ever like without her.

***

Princess,

I am so proud of you.  Honestly, you have no idea.  Your smile and spunk break my heart and cause me to burst at the seams with pride, all at the same time.  I look at you and wonder how I ever thought anything was important before you existed.  You are absolutely everything to me.

I tell you this every day, and I will continue to do so until I can no longer speak: you are my favorite person in the whole, wide world.  I love you with every fiber of my being, a love so fierce it scares me sometimes.  This is big, Kid.

Thank you for being you.  Thank you for allowing me to witness the incredible, awesome, amazing events that make you you.  I feel so privileged to be a part of your life, and I know I stand up a little bit straighter every day because of you.  Being so near greatness can cause a gal's self-esteem to skyrocket just a little.

You are kind.  You are funny, sweet and caring.  You've taught me so very much more than I could ever hope to teach you, including how to slow down and appreciate the little things...because, in this house, the little things are oh so very big.

Six years ago at 4:43 pm, my world shifted forever.  I stopped to smell the Roses, and - looking back - it's amazingly clear that I've never in my life accomplished anything nearly as awe-inspiring as being Momma to such a very special little girl.

I love you to the moon and back.


Happy, happy birthday, my sweet girl.

~Momma

Autism Awareness Month

April is an interesting time for those of us closely connected to autism.  Recognized as Autism Awareness Month, this time of year puts a large aspect of our daily lives in the forefront of mainstream media.  Speeches abound, as do news features that tend to speculate wildly about many facets of the disability.  Unfortunately, many of these speeches and features are taken as gospel by folks who don't understand the first thing about autism, people who don't take the time to fact check or put things in context.  Calls and emails pour in from well-meaning acquaintances who saw a two-and-a-half-minute TV spot and now fancy themselves experts on the subject.

In short, April is hard.

And I'm just gonna go ahead and say the thing we're not supposed to say as parents of children with a disability: I'm tired.  When left to my own devices, I begin to question the wisdom of constantly looking for teachable moments and making it my life's mission to correct all of the poorly researched, dime-a-dozen rhetoric people spout off to me every day.  Sometimes it seems as though I'm just picking fights with people who don't really give a fig about the nuts and bolts; they just want to parrot their mass media tidbits and pat themselves on the back for being so accepting. 

Don't get me wrong: I will continue to advocate for The Princess and others like her; of course I will.  I guess this is really just a long-winded way of telling you that I'm not going to be preaching the same canned tidbits you see on your local news spots this April.

I will, however, talk about awareness in bite-sized pieces for the rest of this month.  And, if I'm being perfectly honest, probably for as long as I live.  Because I'm an autism momma, and that's what we do...whether we mean to or not.

IEP and Rumblings: Part Two

Just a day after that phone call from The Fabulous Mrs. G., The Hubbs and I had a date with The Princess's team at school for her re-evaluation and IEP meeting.

Once again, I was awed by the caliber of human being that makes up our local special education district.  These people get it.  They really do.  They love our kids and see them as people, rather than inconveniences or disabilities.

Her speech therapist was so excited to tell us about her plans that she was literally getting tongue-tied.  Her mouth couldn't keep up with her brain and all the things she wanted to communicate to us, and she was unbelievably adorable.  The first thing out of her mouth was how much she adores our girl. 

The rest of the meeting went just as well.  The special ed coordinator from our home district was there, and she assured us that The Princess would not be transferring out of the special education district.  The next piece of good news we got was that The Princess will be staying with The Fabulous Mrs. G. for another year.  Her school day will lengthen by another hour, since she'll be entering first grade.  Overall, the input from the staff was positive.  She's been making progress, and we have a plan in place to help her continue to succeed at her goals.

Unfortunately for some of the people in that room, our special education district just had to lay off almost 50% of their staff due to cuts at local school districts.  It just breaks my heart.  I can't imagine being one of the parents who is standing on the edge of the great unknown right now.  At least we know that the people working with The Princess have her back, and that they really, truly understand her.

I'm choosing to look on the bright side.  Though we don't know yet where The Princess will be going to school next year, we do know with whom.  Things are going to change for sure, but at least we have the security of knowing The Fabulous Mrs. G. will be there to guide our little girl through it.