Bliss

Pulling into the garage after work this afternoon, I noticed the kitchen door had already been opened.  This is not uncommon; The Hubbs often meets me at the door if he hears the garage door go up.  I've gotten used to it.  I'm spoiled - I know - and I love every moment of it.

But today was a bit different.  The kitchen door was open, yes, but it was not The Hubbs I first saw.  The Princess stood there in her neon green Fish & Fiddle tee shirt, doing an admirable job of elbowing our two one-hundred-pound (each!) bulldogs out of the way.  She was fighting - I mean really fighting for prime position.  When I got out of the car, she started jumping up and down excitedly, the biggest grin in the history of grins plastered across her beautiful face.

I opened the screen door, and she shot into my arms.  She smiled and babbled happily, holding me as close as she could.  It was one of those moments that brings tears to my eyes...the ones where she shows me that - social difficulties be damned - she just wants to hug her momma.  After a few minutes, I reluctantly peeled her arms from around my neck and looked her in the eye.  She held that eye contact and grinned from ear to ear.

Since I didn't have school tonight (teacher had a scheduling conflict), the fam headed out to run a few errands and enjoy the beautiful weather.  All along the way, The Princess insisted upon touching me as much as humanly possible.  She giggled out of nowhere, and looked up at me with glee.  The grin of all grins remained, smack in the middle of her face, for hours.  I'm not kidding.  Hours.

We got home, and she didn't want to be anywhere but with me.  We snuggled.  We played.  We sang.  We rocked.  We tickled.  We laughed.

We exhaled.

The last few days have had me wound as tight as a spring; this I knew.  What I didn't realize until this afternoon was that The Princess was in the same boat.  It's so sad if you think about it like that.

But...well, it makes me happy.  I'm happy that she wants to spend time with me.  I'm happy that she notices the fact that I'm gone.  I'm happy that she is able to express herself, stunted as it may be.

A year ago, she couldn't have done any of this.  She'd have sat in the middle of the room and either withdrawn into herself or just cried.

Progress is a beautiful thing.  Two steps forward, one step back, as they say...but you'll never appreciate the highs if you don't experience the lows.

Today?  Bliss.  Pure bliss.

On The Other Side

"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." ~Unknown

We've all heard the saying, or some version of it. The reason I'm sitting at my computer contemplating this quote at ten o'clock at night is that I've had a really, really long day. I'm burning out, but it's sporadic. What the hell is up with that?

I'll tell you what's up with that: I'm not on a set schedule, so I can't exactly get used to anything the way things are right now.  Some weeks I work three days; others I work five.  During the weeks when I work five days, I can seldom even remember what day it is.  Every week, I go to night school three out of five days.  On two of those three days, I don't even see The Princess.  She's sleeping when I leave, and she's sleeping when I get home.  There are times when I go forty-eight hours without laying eyes on her.

And she's been sick.  Fortunately, The Hubbs tells me that today was a good day.  Apparently, The Princess learned how to hop "the fence" and is now comfortably residing on "the other side."  I can't wait to see her tomorrow night when I get home from work.  I'm really jonesing for a Princess fix right about now, but I can't risk waking her.  She has school in the morning, and if I accidentally woke her now, she'd never get enough sleep tonight.

My over-tired rambling does have a point, I promise.  That point is this: if The Princess can do it, so can I.  God never gives us anything we can't handle, right?  Now, it's just time to muddle through and wait to come out on the other side, where the grass is sure to be greener.

It's only a matter of time.

Pretty As A...

It’s picture day at school today. The Princess woke up cooing and singing around 6:00 this morning: a bonus, we thought. You see, The Hubbs was just a little nervous about picture day himself. He does a great job, in my opinion, of fixing The Princess’s hair, but he’s pretty self-conscious about it.

And it’s picture day. Scratch that…in our house, it’s been referred to more like Picture Day. It’s her first school picture. We’ve chosen the custom background we want, and the check has been sent to her teacher. We are excited about this, if you can’t tell.

So, back to the point I was trying to make before that little tangent. The Princess was awake – of her own accord – before I left for work this morning. A good thing, yes? This meant I was able to snuggle with her (I hadn’t seen her since Sunday night when she went to bed) and ease her into the fact that we were going to brush her beautiful hair.

She was slightly upset at first, which quickly escalated into a full-fledged meltdown. By the time we were done, my red-faced, boogerrific, crocodile-tear-stained three-year-old had a set of beautiful pigtails. Unfortunately, she just couldn’t deal. Before leaving for work, I wrapped her in Dirt Pink and gently returned her to her bed in the hopes that she would calm herself down as she has so many times before.

No such luck. The poor Hubbs called after putting her on the bus to tell me that she proceeded to scream for two solid hours after I left. She clung to him for dear life, screaming at the top of her lungs, all the way to her seat on the bus. Her personal siren wailed away down the street as The Hubbs stood at the end of the driveway, shell-shocked.

This was, by far, the worst school morning to date. And, as The Hubbs said, she just had to pick Picture Day for such a meltdown. I can only hope that the bus ride helped to calm her worries, whatever they may have been. My heart is breaking for both of them: The Princess because something was so obviously wrong this morning…something she couldn’t communicate to us; and The Hubbs because I know how horrible it is to feel so helpless.

Here’s hoping the day has gotten better for both of them. I’ll tell you one thing: I can’t wait to see these school pictures. Good or bad, she’s my baby and I love her. Okay, and if I’m being totally honest, it would be pretty funny to have a professional picture package of a very unhappy little person. I know it sounds terrible, but every parent has thought about it at some point. Don’t look at me like that…if I don’t find something to laugh at here, I just may start to cry.

**Update: The Princess was not at all calmed by her bus ride.  She screamed and slept at school, and no picture was taken.  She came home, still inconsolable, with a note in her backpack from her teacher saying they weren't able to get her to stop crying.

My little angel is not feeling well, and I feel about an inch tall for not catching it this morning.  She was not running a fever or acting anything but cranky before she left, so I never even thought about it.  She is now snuggled up in bed with her trusty blanket, Dirt Pink, sleeping peacefully.

Looks like we'll be keeping her home tomorrow and hoping for a better day when the photographers are at school to reshoot pictures for kids who weren't there today.

Once again, I find myself wishing there was some way to communicate with my little girl.  If only she could have told me...or, rather, if only I could have understood what she was trying to tell me...

A Perfect Sunday

When I used to work for the Evil Meanie Jerkpants Company, the only thing that didn’t suck about my job toward the end was the people. I loved the folks I worked with, and I still count a good number of them as my friends, even nine months after leaving. Twice while I worked there, my buddy B told me about this festival that she and her hubby went to near our house, a festival that included a banjo contest, farmer’s market, and craft fair. The Hubbs and I always thought, “Gee, we should go to that!” The Hubbs could enter the contest, we could get ourselves some fresh produce, and I could either participate in or bum around at the craft fair.

Last weekend, after camping with the gals, I came home to find a restless Hubbs and Princess. We needed to get out of the house, and had heard that there was a craft fair in a small park not far from our house. The wagon was loaded into the trunk, the family piled into the seats, and we were off.

Not five minutes after arriving at the craft fair, a familiar face popped up next to The Princess and started snuffling and licking her head. Jessie, my folks’ border collie mix, was elated to find us in the sea of people. We, too, were endlessly entertained with the idea that we’d run into one another at such an event…especially since it was about two minutes after The Hubbs looked at me and asked why my folks weren’t there. Too funny!

A nice little family outing quickly turned into a nice big family outing. The five of us (and Jessie, of course!) made our way through the fair, picking up small trinkets along the way. When it came time to boogie, Grumma explained that she, Grumpa, and Jessie were heading to another craft fair two towns away.

After a little discussion, The Hubbs and I decided that sounded like fun, so we tagged along. Twenty minutes later, we found ourselves in the middle of the square where Hambone and I had our summer band camp concerts when we were younger, standing mesmerized by the banjo playing in the gazebo. As we marveled, wondering why we hadn’t heard about this and entered The Hubbs, someone tapped my shoulder. It was B!

This little festival happened to be the same one that B and T had been going to for the last couple of years, and we stopped almost directly in front of them as they were watching the contest from the lawn. I introduced The Hubbs to B, and she introduced all of us to T (B had met The Princess a few times already), and we all talked for a while. It was wonderful to see her again, and I love the random randomness of the encounter.

Soon after our visit with B and T, my folks arrived at the square, and we were ready to hit the craft fair. I bought a beautiful hand-knit wrap from a woman who was donating every penny of her sales to Susan G Koman for the Cure. We saw quite a few adorable things along the way, and ended up on the farmer’s market side where they had antique John Deere tractors.

For a spontaneous we-need-to-get-out-of-the-house kind of outing, I’d say it turned out to be a rather productive day. We got some exercise, The Princess got her beloved wagon ride, we all spent some time with The Grumps, and I got to catch up with an old friend. Add in the entertainment of the craft fairs, and I don’t think it could have turned out any better than it did.

Camping With the Gals

Over the last few weekends, T and her little sister, C, have been camping up in our neck of the woods.  For years I've been saying I wanted to go with T, but something always comes up.  Well, not this time.

On Friday after work, The Princess and I piled in the car with our tent and sleeping bags, and we took off for the campground (about 25 minutes from home).  I figured this would be the perfect way to get her feet wet with the whole camping thing...if it all went sour, I could just hop in the car, take her home, and head back out with the gals.

She.  Loved.  It.  The highlights were playing in the tent, which involved smashing her face against the screen and giggling uncontrollably; FIRE!; and the bestest thing in the history of things: the flashlight!  C had the brilliant idea to hand The Princess a flashlight on the way to the bathrooms, and the little one couldn't have been more pleased.  She flung that thing around like there was no tomorrow, making it look like we were in a club with a strobe light.  The Princess stayed Friday night with us, and I brought her home to her Da on Saturday before heading back out to the campsite late Saturday afternoon.

Naturally, I didn't bust out the camera until my way out of the park on Sunday, so there aren't any pics of The Princess or the gals around the fire.  I was pretty bummed when I realized that, but we had a great time.  Even though it rained a bit, it was - for the most part - a beautiful weekend.  And relaxing.  I had forgotten how relaxing camping could be, and I'm so glad I went.  I really needed this.

I love autumn, and all of the beautiful colors that are beginning to show through.  The flowers are gorgeous, the air is crisp and cool, and it feels like the perfect time for a bonfire.  Can't get much better than that.

Interruption

Call it a break, some downtime, a brief intermission, a vacation of sorts.  Whatever you like is fine with me.

Really, I'll probably be back before you figure out what I'm yammering on about anyway.  But if not, rest assured...I will be back.

Trying

Okay, I'm trying here.  Really, I am.  But sometimes this wacky schedule catches up to me...like now.  To preserve what is left of my sanity, I'm declaring this a long weekend in Bloggyland.  Between now and then, I shall focus on work and school.  And that's it.  Okay, maybe there'll be time for family and sleep.  Maybe.

We'll see what Monday brings.  Hopefully, things will be back to "normal" (whatever that is) around here soon.  :)

Sugarfoot and Hammer

Twenty-nine - really - and I can't even count the number of times my three-year-old has been on a horse.  I, on the other hand, have never had the pleasure until this past weekend.

It was an absolutely beautiful day here in The Boondocks.  T and I got our cute on, cowgal hats and all, before heading out to the state park.  My birthday present to her was a two-hour guided horseback ride.

Heading out - that's me on Sugarfoot on your left, and T on Hammer (a.k.a. Hammer Time) on the right.

Sugarfoot liked to take me off the trail so he could have many, many snacks.  But this was okay by me, because I got to see more than just Hammer's butt.  You see, when we were on the trail, Sugarfoot had this thing about sniffing Hammer's heinie.  It was nice to have a change of scenery every once in a while.  :)

This must be as I'm steering Sugarfoot back onto the trail after a snack, since Hammer's tushie is nowhere to be found.  Or maybe we're going uphill...Hammer had this thing where he had to trot uphill and any time he felt as though the guide horse was getting too far ahead.  Poor T!  I tried to bargain with Sugarfoot to keep him going slowly, which seemed to work.  Well, mostly.

I think oak trees are really cool, what with their snarls and all.  Something about they way they look makes me feel that they are very wise old things.  Check out the beautiful blue sky!

One of the many meadows/prairies we passed during our ride.

Here's T, givin' us a smile.  Judging by her relaxed pose, I'm gonna go ahead and guess Hammer is not currently at a trot.  :)

The last meadow view on the way back to the stables.

While I'll admit I'm still feeling the effects of that ride, I have to say that I had a wonderful time.  It was a splendidly peaceful two hours spent with a very special gal.  I can see now why so many autistic kids benefit so greatly from hippotherapy - the movement really is soothing. 

T, I can only hope that you had as good a time as I did.  And if not, I hope the apple cider doughnuts made up for it!  ;)

Protector

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I present Dmitri.  This badass (not-so) little guy has spun a web above and around my tomato plants, and I believe that I have him to thank for the fact that very few insects dare to venture into my garden...thereby allowing me to have the most amazing tomato plants ever.  Seriously, they were eight feet tall before they started folding over on themselves.  I know, right?

Thank you, Dmitri, for protecting The Princess's food of choice.  And for helping me hone my mad photography skills by providing such a captivating pose while you were wrapping that little buggy up in your silk.

Journey to the Land of Beef Jerky: Part Five

Let's recap: Day One involved driving up after work and arriving after midnight.  Day Two has been epic.  And it's not over yet.

After Hoppy's farm, we all ventured out to the nearby tourist town and did a little shopping - you know, for the essentials: saltwater taffy, apple bullseyes, Jelly Bellies, and the like.  Here's The Princess attempting to escape from a hand-carved moose chair in that lovely little town:

On the way back to the cottage, we stopped off for dinner at the restaurant with these beautiful flowers outside.  While we were there, an aqua-colored Ford Model A pulled up.  I'm just sad that we didn't think to take a picture of the nifty car.

Around sunset, I ventured out into the front yard to take in the scenery.  Here's the family cottage:

And the breathtaking sunset:

Great Grammie found out what it's like to be in charge of The Princess in the wide-open expanses of the outdoors.  She eventually made a comment about understanding the whole "kid leash" phenomenon.

Fall isn't far away now...

In the evening, while Momma was packing our things up, The Princess continued her mission to systematically disassemble Great Grammie and Great Grampy's puzzle in the bedroom.

We all crashed out, and woke in the morning to another beautiful day.  Unfortunately, we only had a couple of hours before we had to get back on the road.  After breakfast (blueberry pancakes - yum!), we took one last walk around the yard, passing The Princess around to all of the grandparents.  Here she is with Great Grampy, attempting to drag him back down to the water for one last swim.

And here we are with Great Grammie and Great Grampy, sayin' our goodbyes before hittin' the road.

And then it was time to get back in the car to return home.  Unfortunately, the preferred lunch spot for the drive home was a bit too much for The Princess, so she and I took a stroll up and down the street before eating our lunches out of take-out containers in the back seat.  Surprisingly enough, this was really the only tough time we had on the whole trip.  She was an angel for the majority of the trip, and I could tell she was genuinely having a good time.  Other than that, nothing else matters.

Eight or so hours after leaving the cottage, we returned home where The Hubbs had made BLT sandwiches for everyone for dinner.  During those eight hours, though, another pretty momentous thing happened: not one wet Pull-Up.  Sure, we could have gotten home faster, but we stopped at every rest area (and one Dairy Queen...so sue us!), and she remained dry for the entire trip.  I'm so proud of my little girl.

Goodbye, Land of Beef Jerky.  We had a wonderful time, and we're looking forward to our next visit.

Journey to the Land of Beef Jerky: Part Four

You'd think walking "the road" and swimming were enough for one day, wouldn'tcha?  Well, you haven't lived until you've done a one-day power vacation like The Princess and I just did.

Next stop: Hoppy's farm.  He had goats...

And llamas...

And one particularly curious goat who nipped The Princess's finger, right in the middle of Great Grammie's question: "He's not going to..."  Yes, Great Grammie, that is exactly what he is going to do.  This here's the culprit.

The Princess wasn't too happy, and he actually drew blood, so here I am singing "Raisins" and trying to clean up her finger.  The poor thing has never had good luck with goats...this makes me think of The Petting Zoo Incident, when Grumma and I took The Princess into a petting zoo where the goats were used to being fed.  They swarmed The Princess, and I swear she climbed me with no assistance whatsoever, screeching all the way.  Point taken, Princess.  No more goats.

Not even the cute two-week-old baby kind.

Cows are somethin' new to The Princess.  I figured I'd keep her over in the corner where she could make a quick escape.  She jettisoned off that fence and onto my hip so fast I barely saw her move.  Poor kid.  Okay, no more livestock today, I promise.

A walk with Nana, far away from the big, scary llamas, goats, and cows is far more along the lines of what The Princess finds to be fun.

'Splorin' with Papa really hit the spot, too.

I may be a little slow on the uptake, but I've finally gotten The Princess's message.  No livestock, no how.  I can deal with that, though I have a hard time understanding why horses are okay and the others aren't.  Oh, well.  At least I can start on my "Acceptable Livestock" list for future reference.

Journey to the Land of Beef Jerky: Part Three

Walking "the road" was big fun...but nothing can compare to this in The Princess's eyes.

She splooshed and giggled, and giggled and splooshed.

And she even gave us her Pocahontas impression.  (If you click on the picture, you can see an enlarged version, in which her ear-to-ear grin is far more visible.)

Nana, Papa, Great Grammie, and Great Grampy had fun watching from shore while The Princess dragged her momma into the water, never even hesitating due to the slightly chilly temp.  Momma may not have been as excited about getting her belly wet, but it was well worth it for The Princess's sake.