Sister

It is a beautiful summer day in the 1980’s. My exact age is not important, because parts of this conversation with my mom happened countless times over the years…but this is the first time I remember making such a plea.

My brother has just finished chopping off my right pigtail with the orange-handled scissors, but in such a way that it doesn’t become immediately apparent to my folks. After coming in for a snack, Mommy decides my hairdo needs a bit of an adjustment, so she removes the tie from my left pigtail. When she does the same on the right side, a handful of hair comes with it.

My brother is laughing hysterically, and I’m beginning to bawl my eyes out.

“Mommy, do you see what he did? He…(sob)…cut…(sob)…off…(sob)…my…(sob)…PIGTAIL!!!” From here, I progress to those huge heaving sobs - you know the ones - accompanied by desperate gulps for air in between. I may try to keep talking, but even I can't understand myself at this point.

Mommy hugs me to her and rocks me as I convulse with each gut-wrenching sob. She smooths what is left of my hair, singing so softly it is almost a whisper. I steal a glance at my brother, who has a look of such naked terror on his face that I’m glad I can’t see the laser beams shooting out of Mommy’s eyes in his direction. He’s gonna get it, all right.

After an eternity, I begin to feel as though I can breathe again. I start squirming in Mommy’s arms, and she loosens her grip ever so slightly. I turn so I can see her face, and I begin my plea.

“Mommy, why can’t you have another baby? This one would be a girl, and she would be perfect, and she would be my sister. You wouldn’t even have to do anything, really. I’d take care of her. I’d feed her and let her out, and make sure she has water. I’d give her baths when she needed them, and she could sleep on my bed with me. You wouldn’t even know she was here.”

*****

I understand now how my mom must have felt, sitting there with her youngest on her lap, beseeching her to have another child...presenting her case as though she were requesting a new puppy, kitten, Guinea pig or goldfish. Looking back, I don't know how she didn't break down into hysterical laughter right then and there.

Obviously, my begging for a sister was not reason enough for my parents to go through all that is involved with a baby for the third time.  My thinking was that I could train this new sister to be on my side, and that we could gang up on my brother so he couldn't pick on me anymore.  It's the same thing every little sister wishes at one point or another: to have a comrade, someone to commiserate with, someone who understands every little thing without requiring a huge explanation.

Over the years, I'm glad to say, my brother and I have grown closer.  We're both all grown up now, and I'm proud to call him my best friend.  That's not to say that there weren't times along the way when I wrote letters to Santa Claus (published in the local paper, no less), imploring him to send my brother to Abu Dhabi or Timbuktu.  We fought like cats and dogs, but Mom and Dad were right: no friend is going to stick around like a brother does.  He has to...he's family.

Four and a half years ago, I married the love of my life. My brother dressed up in a monkey suit and stood with us at the altar. He beamed and told me how happy he was for me. He befriended my husband and went to great lengths to make him feel welcome in his new home, which is much more rural than where he grew up. He accepted my husband as his brother.

That day, I didn't only gain a husband. I also acquired a second set of parents, along with a wonderful new set of grandparents. They've all taken me in as one of their own, and the two families get along great.

But that's not all. At the age of twenty-four, I finally got what I had been asking for all my life: a sister. Some may argue that we're not real sisters, and to those people I stick my nose in the air and turn on my heel like a hoity-toity New Yorker. This is the real deal, folks.

We may not be blood relatives, but that doesn't mean we're not as close as those who are. Twenty-four years was a long time to wait, but - boy, oh, boy - was it worth it. This woman is funny, supportive, and fiercely loyal. She's everything I ever wanted in a friend, and oh so much more.

Jello: though we can't be there in person today to celebrate with you, I hope you have a fantastic birthday. Hug that hubby and daughter of yours for me, and have them snuggle The Belly and give you bear hugs from me, too. Love you, girlie.