Cheated

Today is The Princess's IEP meeting.  At school.  Where she will be going - to school - starting in April.  Did I mention the fact that we're talking about school?  My almost-three-year-old - she turns three on April 11th - will be packed up and sent off on a school bus, which will drive her one town over, where she will spend hours and hours away from Mommy and Daddy under the care of someone else every single weekday.

My fingernails are gone.  In fact, I think I may be biting my knuckles at this point.  I have indigestion like you wouldn't believe.  My attention span is nonexistent, but all I want to do is hang out with The Princess every minute of every day.

My time with her is limited.  Okay, that's a little on the melodramatic side...I'll give you that.  But my full-time mommy-and-daughter before-she-goes-off-to-school time is almost over.  Where did it go?

When I found out I was pregnant, I started planning all the things I was going to do with my baby...all the places we'd go, all the activities we'd do together, all the fun we'd have in the five years before she had to go to school, and in the summers between school years...you know the drill. 

And then we realized something was wrong.  We jumped in with both feet, never looking back.  We've spent the past year and a half in a neverending whirlwind of therapists, evaluations, diagnostics and treatment options.  We've learned to deal with support, ridicule, and standing united as a team, protecting her from the world as best we can.  Has it helped?  Sure.  Would I trade it for all the tea in China?  Absolutely not.

We are fortunate enough not to know any different.  The Princess is our first and only child, so this is what parenting is to us.

Still, there are some days on which I feel horribly cheated.