Physical Aggression in the Classroom

This is the note I had to type and send off to The Princess's teacher this evening.  It breaks my heart.

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Hi Mrs. G.,

I saw videos from the music program today, and I'm completely blown away by how far The Princess has come since the last program.  I wish I could have been there, but I'm in San Francisco for work until next Friday...so it was really nice to get the videos that The Hubbs's mom took during the program.

That being said, I am extremely concerned for The Princess's safety.  The Hubbs and his mom both saw Z hit The Princess - hard - twice today.  Z seems to wait until you and the other staff members are otherwise occupied and then she hits The Princess.  The first time was so hard my mother-in-law was absolutely shocked.  You turned to talk to her and The Hubbs , and Z punched The Princess very hard in the chest.  It happened again when everyone was getting ready to leave.  You were occupied with something else, and Z hit The Princess again, this time with an open palm on The Princess's leg.  The Hubbs and my mother-in-law didn't want to cause a scene during the program, but I can't leave this unaddressed.

One of the most concerning aspects of this, to me, is that The Princess didn't react at all.  This tells me that it happens often enough that The Princess is used to it and doesn't see it as being wrong.  This is not okay in any sense of the word.

Being the parent of a nonverbal child like The Princess, The Hubbs and I are extremely vigilant about keeping our eyes on her.  She can't tell us if something hurts or if someone did something to her, and we rely on you and the other classroom staff to be our eyes and ears during the school day. 

We do absolutely everything in our power to keep her out of harm's way at home, but I feel like there's a gap in this vigilance at school.  This academic year alone, The Princess has come home with deep scratches to her face (which have since left scars - the original incident was in October), multiple bruises, bumps, cuts and scrapes.  Each time she comes home with an injury, we seem to receive a similar cryptic note regarding an incident with another student.

After today's events, I have no doubt that the other student has been Z, which I suspected all along.  I have nothing but respect and gratitude for you and your staff, and I know you do the best you can, but I have to insist that The Princess and Z be separated immediately.  I simply cannot stand by and allow this treatment/behavior to continue. 

The Princess has made amazing progress in the three years since she started in your program, and I think we would both agree that this is largely due to the fact that we - her parents - and you - her support team - have always been on the same page.  It's taken four and a half years, but she is now completely potty-trained.  Things take a long time for her to learn, but once they're ingrained, she has a memory like a steel trap.  I'm afraid that Z's behavior is teaching The Princess that volatility and violence are acceptable, and this is the exact opposite of what we are teaching and enforcing at home.

We've all worked too hard to get The Princess where she is today to see any regression or bad habits come out of inconsistency at school.  Like I said, I'm concerned for her safety at this point.  I cannot allow her to continue to be in the same classroom with a child who is physically abusive toward her.

Please let me know what can be done to solve this issue.  The Hubbs and I are prepared to keep The Princess home in the interim if needed, and I'll be happy to talk to whoever I need to talk to at the special education district or the local school district.  I just can't have my baby bullied. I hope you understand.

Thanks for your time,
Amy