Cherish

"A friend is someone who knows us, but loves us anyway."

~Jerome Cummings

As I grow older, making my way toward the dreaded label of "adult" - which I'm sure I'll hit by the time I'm about 72 or so - I am amazed by the way things never really turn out how I think they will.  My perspective has shifted ever so slightly so damned many times in the last twenty years that I can hardly believe that silly little tween was me.

And so, at the ripe-old age of 31, I am here to share with you a small but very important portion of my infinite wisdom.  Pay attention, kids, 'cause here it comes.

Throughout my life, I've had many different sets of friends.  At times, I collected them like trophies to trot out and put on display for all to see.  When the going got rough, though, I always found out who was in it for the long haul.

There are plenty of people out there who are willing to call someone their friend.  Hell, these days it seems as though the majority of new friendships are started online - how sad is that? - and people don't even have to hold actual conversations.  Texting, facebook and twitter have replaced hanging out, talking on the phone until the wee hours of the night and riding your bike to your pal's house.  You can "like" something a person says or slam them without ever looking them in the face.

But when you get down to brass tacks, I'd be willing to bet you can count your true friends on one hand.  It's not a competition here, folks, and I know there will be exceptions, but I know it to be true in my own life and from observing those around me.

How many of your facebook friends would drop what they were doing and drive 30+ miles to bring you your spare set of car keys when you've locked yourself out of your car at a shopping mall in the dead of winter?

How many of your twitter followers would babysit your dogs while you deal with a family emergency?

How many people that you text with would stick out their neck for you?

How many of these "friends" would even pick up the phone if they saw your number on the Caller ID?

See?  Now I've got you thinking.  The gears are turning...I can hear them.  You're really not sure about most of those so-called friends, now, are you?

Do yourself a favor.  Go grab a pencil and a piece of paper - not a smart phone or a tablet...I want you to write this out for real.  I'll wait.

Now, write the names of your friends - not counting family - who you could count on to do any of the four things I mentioned above, no questions asked.

Look at the list.  Study it.  These are your real friends.  Slip this piece of paper into your pocket or your wallet, and revisit it every day. 

These are the people on whom you should be expending your energy.  These are the people who are going to be there for you when shit gets hard.  You need to do the same for them, or they may decide that somewhere down the line, you're no longer worth the time and effort...and these are not the people you want to lose due to neglect.

Nurture these relationships.  Cherish them.  Because when we're all old, grey and pruny, we want to be able to sit in a rocking chair on a porch, sipping sweet tea with our best friends, proudly looking back on our lives.  When I'm 72 (and, presumably, grown up), I want to sit there with T and reminisce about all the dumb shit we've done together...and all the dumb shit we're gonna do together in the next 41 years.

That's right, girlie.  This whole, big, rambling post is just another roundabout way to tell you that I love you. 

Happy birthday, T.  You're my bestie, and I plan on pestering you for a damn long time yet.