Well, it’s 10:00 on Sunday night and I am still waiting for The Princess to come home. This is ridiculous. I had a great time hanging out with my hubby this weekend, but I want my kid back. We had thought she’d be home somewhere between 3 and 5…turns out they left at noon instead of mid-morning as we had originally thought.
Did I mention the fact that the cottage is five to five-and-a-half hours away? What the hell is taking so long? Here I sit in the living room with the TV on very low for background noise, jumping every time I hear a car door. Every few minutes I walk into the kitchen and watch as a few cars pass by our street, increasingly disappointed with each false start.
The Hubbs went to bed almost an hour ago…he just couldn’t stay awake anymore. We haven't seen our kid since Thursday, and we all have to be up at about 5:00 in the morning. So much for hanging out with Kiddo for the evening.
I. Want. My. Kid. NOW.
Bitch and ye shall receive...not 15 minutes after this post, a carload of weary travelers pulled up in my driveway. Chloe had just fallen asleep within the last 20 minutes of the drive, and melted on my shoulder when I plucked her from her carseat. After depositing her in her bed with Twinkle and Dirt Pink, I came back out to help grab the rest of her stuff.
ReplyDeleteThe story of this trip back from Minong is the stuff of legends. I'll let Jello embellish a bit here in the comment section if she sees fit.
My princess is home safe, her carseat is in the Focus and I'm about to drop. Wish me luck in my fight against the alarm clock in about 6.5 hours. It'll be an adventure!
Blargh! Sorry we got back so late :( I'm quite sure I would be equally anxious to get my baby back so I know how you feel. I have to say though that the "adventure" back was, like you said, the stuff of legends.
ReplyDeleteFor those of you also reading this blog (and there should be more of us, tell all your friends, or enemies, or randoms on the street!!!), Chloe is quite capable of going potty on the toilet. I've seen her do it with my own eyes. But apparently her bladder can't hold a 64 oz Big Gulp. I don't know *what* is wrong with her! Also, after drinking said Big Gulp, she can't wait 2 hours to go pee at our designated stopping points. I mean, what the heck!?! What is she, like 2 or something? Sheesh, I never! Anyway, at our first stop for pie (the important stop), we take her out of her carseat to find that she has gone tinkle and her pants are sopping wet (along with the carseat (which by the way, dries remarkably fast!)). So, into the restaurant we go to change her into a clean pair of Pull Ups and a dry pair of jeans. Great! So while I was helping Mom get Chloe changed Kaitie had gotten the tell-tale red face grunty look. Ok, cool. She's pooped, no biggie. Little girl = little poop. So, I go to the bathroom to change her. I get back and Chloe is on her second glass of fluid (first one was juice, this one is milk). After consuming our potato pancakes and while waiting for our pie, Mom thinks that we should probably check on Chloe to see if she needs to go potty. She picks her up out of her highchair and tinkle has puddled on the chair and is now dripping down onto the floor. Oops! So we take her back to the bathroom for another dry Pull Up and another pair of jeans (thank God Amy decided to get her those extra pants!) By now the pie has arrived and we're all happily munching pie. As we finish Mom makes the comment that someone smells poopy. I do the sniff check on Kaitie. Nope, all clear here. Sniff check on Chloe, oh yeah! So, back into the bathroom for another change of Pull Ups and pants (for those of you keeping track, that's pants number 3!) Ok, so we get her cleaned up, put some super absorbent napkins down on Chloe's carseat since it's still a bit damp and we drive down the block to a gas station so I can buy some "female products". While I'm in there, guess what? Kaitie poops!!! I kid you not. What the heck?!? Now granted, these two Princesses can pack down the food like a tribe of hungry wolves but my Lord, I've never seen two girls poop or pee so much in my life! We left the cottage at 12:00, we stopped at 2:00, we left at 4:00. 2 hours of cleaning poop and pee and maybe having some pie. Holy wow, I know! So, next stop is in Madison at a McDonalds Play Place so the girls can run / crawl around and burn a bit of energy. And hey, guess what? NO POOP OR PEE incidents! Yay! Both girls did a good job munching and Kaitie even learned how to blow bubbles in her drink through a straw. She's so smart =D.
Ok, last stop was the Flying J Truck Stop for gas and to get on the route back to WonderTucky. Mom has to make a few phone calls to let everyone know why it's taking us so long so she tells me to go ahead and change Kaitie first while she waits in the car. Cool. When I come back to the car, Mom is doing the Pee Pee dance herself so I say, "I'll take Chloe to get changed and you go to the bathroom and Dad can watch Kaitie". Sounds like a plan from Planistan. As Dad takes Chloe out of the car he notes that he thinks she feels damp on the tush. Mom says "no, it's just from the carseat still being a bit wet." Dad: "It feels more wet than just damp from the carseat." (He wasn't being rude or squeamish about it, just observing a fact.) Me: "I'm taking her to get changed now anyway." I pick her up and do note that she is a bit damp but not super bad so it technically could be from the carseat. As I carry her in though, suddenly I feel a warm sensation on my arm and realize she is tinkling right now. Which is ok because it isn't going through the jeans but I could just tell that it was definitely time to get her changed. I'm pulling off her jeans rather haphazardly since I didn't know what dangers lurked inside them. And then I see the Poop! Poop on her sock from pulling off the jeans, poop in her jeans, poop down her leg, poop on her back, poop on the changing pad. This poor sweet child is covered in poop. I take her sock off and set it on top of the changing station - poop on the changing station now. I'm describing to Mom about all of the poop everywhere while she's in the stall trying to tinkle herself and she's rushing now to get her business done so she can come out and help me corral all of the poop. We use up all of the wipes in the travel container and have to resort to paper towels soaked in warm water but we get all of the poop. Mom puts a clean Pull Up on her and I run out to the car to find the only pair of clean pants - a set of footie pajamas. While I bring her out to the car and get her back in her carseat (which is dry now), Mom has the fun task of washing the poop out of the jeans. I would have just wrapped them in a bag, tied it shut and presented it to Steven and Amy with a smile, but what do I know? I haven't had the fun of having my kid poop on the outside of her clothes yet. I can't wait ;) When I come back into the bathroom to see if I can help, Mom is on her third hand-washing. I thought it was from having to touch the poopy pants but as I found out, it was from having her hands in the Flying J toilet. As she said, "I don't even want to know what happens in those toilets." I think she even used hand sanitizer when we got back into the car.
ReplyDeleteAnd, to top all of this off, I ended up having to be the meaniest Auntie J on the planet. We were given strict orders to NOT let Chloe sleep in the car on the way home or else she would never sleep tonight. As a mother myself, I completely understand this rule. I've had to force otherwise nice people to be the mean ones to keep my little angel awake so I could squeak a 30 minute nap out of her. Well, after all of the craziness of the day, the poor sweetpea was tuckered out and just lookin' to get a nice nappers in. But oh no! Mean ol' Auntie J kept holding my head up so I couldn't lay it down, she chubbed my cheeks, she donked my on the head with my Raffie, she played the same stupid song on Kaitie's camera toy OVER and OVER and OVER again, she tickled me with my ponytail and she even went so far as to try and hold my eyelids open. But, it was no use. Chloe prevailed and she ended up sleeping the last 20 minutes of the ride. I tried :( However, as I have been informed, she did sleep the rest of the night so at least I was somewhat successful in my attempts to be the meaniest Auntie J on the planet. It was an awesome weekend and all of it was really hilarious. I was so glad to have this time to spend with my sweet niece and Goddaughter :)
ReplyDeleteJello, you are *hilarious*! I'm so glad you were there to document the whole trip...poop adventures and all! Love you mucho!!
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