It Just Is

I thought August was supposed to be hot and dry...what's the deal with the weather lately? 70 and rainy - that's okay for April, but this is getting old! I'm not usually one to complain about the weather, but it's freaking August and I wore long jeans today. Could have done with a hoodie too, but had to leave it home on principle alone.

Work didn't suck. That makes me happy. :)

Julie Time today was a battle of wills. My 2-year-old decided that all of a sudden she didn't want to do anything - and I mean anything - Julie's way. Every activity bore a new battle...and if you've never matched wills with a 2-year-old Autistic kid then you just don't even understand the concept. Meltdown after meltown. Screaming, kicking and flailing. It was not a good day for The Princess and Julie.

Forty minutes or so into her usual hour session, Julie was forced to give up. The Hubbs took The Princess to her room for a "time-out". When she gets like this, the only thing that will cool her off is some Alone Time in her bedroom.

While The Princess screamed herself into oblivion, Julie stayed late to talk to us again. We've been dancing around the subject for months, and today we talked more specifically about The Princess's issues.

Julie is a fantastic resource, and I wouldn't trade her for the world. That's why it's such a pain that she doesn't happen to work with our current insurance...come April, the state-funding runs out and we either need to switch therapists or pay about $40 more each paycheck ($80+ a month) to switch to PPO so we can stick with her.

Not a big fan of the whole insurance bureaucracy, personally, but you've got to play the game if you want to get your benefits. Heaven forbid they actually cover something the first time through.

Within the next few months The Princess will be formally diagnosed as Autistic, and I'll be drowning in paperwork with referrals and general information about all of the related hullaballoo. We'll do everything we can to prepare and make the (hopefully) right decisions as far as insurance goes.

Most likely, The Princess will also be starting work with additional therapists for occupational , and possibly developmental and/or physical, therapy. There's an awful lot about my daughter that seems to scream Look at me, I'm Autistic, but on the other hand she is doing a few things that some Autistic kids can't do until much later - if at all. It's all very confusing and I guess I just need this time to vent.

We all know Autism isn't as cut-and-dry as it used to be. Just because you're labeled as Autistic doesn't mean you're going to grow up to be Rain Man. There's a whole spectrum, from mild to severe. Some Autistic people can function normally in social situations, and some can't.

No matter what, she's still our kiddo and we love her unconditionally. I just hope with every little piece of my heart that the rest of the world will come to the same conclusion. I know that she will be fine, and she will still be her no matter what.

It's the other people who make me nervous.

The kid who always takes the teasing just a little too far; the grown man with no children who thinks it's okay to groan loudly when kids have the audacity to make a sound in a public place; and the other soccer moms down the line.

This is not something to poke fun at. Don't roll your eyes or yell at the kid's parents to shut them up. It's not pitiful.

It just is, and I hope you can see past that to the wonderful little girl behind those big innocent blue eyes.