Time After Time

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick and think of you

caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new

Flashback, warm nights, almost left behind

suitcases of memories, time after--

sometimes you picture me, I'm walking too far ahead

you're calling to me, I can't hear what you've said

Then you say go slow, I fall behind

the second hand unwinds

if you're lost you can look and you will find me

time after time

if you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting

time after time

after my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray

watching through windows, you're wondering if I'm OK

secrets stolen from deep inside

the drum beats out of time

if you're lost you can look and you will find me

time after time

if you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting

time after time

you said go slow

I fall behind

the second hand unwinds

if you're lost you can look and you will find me

time after time

if you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting

time after time

time after time

time after time

time after time

--Time After Time, by Cyndi Lauper

This song holds a very special place in my heart, and as The Hubbs and I strolled down Memory Lane this evening I began to understand why.  You see, D - The Hubbs' best friend - is a phenomenal self-taught piano player.

He played this the night I met him, the very day his father passed away.  I have never been so touched by music as I was on that evening.  Meeting D for the first time is something I will never forget as long as I live.

As D sat down at the piano in that smoke-filled living room, someone had the brilliant idea to mike him.  I've just finished listening to the sound footage from that evening, and as I listened I found myself transported back to that night.  This man, this perfect stranger, came in and sat down at our friend's piano.  And proceeded to play the most profoundly sad music I had ever heard, straight from his heart.

As the evening went on, the soundtrack turned more and more upbeat.  Time After Time, I would find out later, was one of his old stand-by crowd-pleasing songs.

But I had never before heard the song played like this.  To this day, the original recording sounds wrong to me.  Nevertheless, any time I hear a portion of the song - Cyndi Lauper's version or D's - I stop and pay attention.

After listening to D's years-old performance this evening, it occurred to me that the lyrics may just be a little more profound than I had ever given them credit for in the past.  Living my life with this beautiful, sweet little autistic girl of mine has given me a new perspective.

Read the lyrics again...I'll wait.

Now think about them.  Really think.  Forget for a moment that this is a plaintive love song, and try replacing the singer with yourself...and the other person with your child.

For those of you who are not closely acquainted with a special needs child, this is a fairly accurate snapshot of what it's like for those of us who are.  Certainly, it can be interpreted in many ways...and this is just my personal take on it.  I understand that it can apply to all children.  It just happens to have tugged on my heartstrings in that oh-my-gosh-I-have-to-share-this kind of way.

Constant confusion...hesitance to make a move for the fear that this child or person will not understand.

Fear of falling behind.  Boy, ain't that the truth...no matter how proud we are of our little ones and their everyday miracles, there's always that underlying fear of never being able to catch up.  To whom?  Doesn't matter.  Fear is not a logical beast.

The chorus, really, says it all.

If you're lost you can look and you will find me...time after time...If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting...time after time

This, and this alone, is what we want our children to understand and embrace.  The undisputable fact that we, as their parents, are there for them every step of the way.  There will be hard times, of that we can be sure, but we are the lighthouses...the safety nets...here to guide these wonderful little people through life and to catch them when they happen to misstep.  And to make sure, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that they know this: with us, they are safe...they are loved...they are perfect.  Despite their imperfections.

If The Princess learns and comprehends only one thing in her lifetime, I dearly hope it is this.

I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here

Roughly ten and a half years after graduating high school, I find myself once again in the position of the student.  It's a surreal feeling, though oddly comfortable.

I was always a good student, excelling in honors-level classes throughout junior high and high school.  I was in the top of my class, and loved what I was doing.  Always the over-achiever, I participated in cross country, volleyball, basketball and track...on top of the full load of honors classes and ever-important art room time.

I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up, so I never went to college.  I've spent the last ten and a half years as a full-time participant in the work force.  Eight and a half of those years were spent at the last company I worked for.  The past two months have been spent on the job hunt and constantly working with my daughter at home, scheduling and attending all of her therapies and play groups, and simply enjoying her company.

This morning at 8:45 I found myself in a classroom with about ten other people, with more trickling in, waiting to find out what was in store.  My first psychology class was to begin at 9:00.

I looked around the room and found myself marveling at how young everyone around me seemed.  The sheer amount of acne and still-not-fully-developed bodies around me was overwhelming.

Then the instructor walked in.  He looked like any normal guy I may have worked with over the past ten years, dressed in a button-down plaid shirt with jeans and hiking boots.  He introduced himself to the class and gave us a short rundown of his background before asking us all to do the same.

As I listened to my classmates giving their abridged life stories, it hit me again how young they all are.  On the list of information being provided by everyone was when they graduated...all within the past six months.  One boy graduated from Johnsburg High School on Thursday.  Of last week.

There is one woman in the class who has to be about my parents' age.  She's been steadily taking part-time classes since she got out of high school, working her way through.  At one point she got into cab-driving, then bought her own cab, which eventually turned into a fleet of cabs.  Nightmare after nightmare caused her to sell her business, and she is currently enrolled full-time with the intent of becoming an art therapist.

Three or four of the other girls introduced themselves as stay-at-home moms, most of whom are focusing on some part of the nursing profession.

One of the waitresses from El Puerto, our favorite Mexican joint, is in my class.

As I listened to their stories I learned that there is one boy in the class who is going to be an air traffic controller, another boy who aspires to be a Christian counselor of some kind, and a whole lot of people who have absolutely no idea what they want to do when they grow up.

My turn.

"My name is Amy, and I graduated...oh, about ten years ago.  I'm the mother of a two-year-old autistic girl, and I am coming back to school to focus on occupational therapy so I can work with kids like her."

Larry, the instructor, looked at me...and I swear I saw his face soften for a moment.  He had been looking rather bored during the previous few students' oh-gee-I-don't-want-to-talk-about-myself speeches, and he gave me a kind smile.  He commented about how great it is that I've found what I want to do with my life, and that I have a personal connection with my intended profession.  He asked a couple of questions about my daughter, and seemed genuinely interested in the answers.

That was all I needed.  What does it matter that the girl who was sitting kitty-corner in front of me was doodling hearts on her notebook throughout the entire three-hour class (when she wasn't turned completely around in her seat staring into space - rudely - while Larry was lecturing)?  Who cares if I've got ten years on most of the people in that room?

The rest of the class was taken up by a lecture on the first chapter of our textbook, which I'm happy to report I found extremely interesting.

Larry is a great speaker, and a motivating teacher.  I can tell already that I'm not making a mistake by going back to school.  Not that I really thought I was...it's just a big adjustment and a huge leap of faith.

In fact, I think I'm gonna like it here.

And for the parents...a picture of me on my first day of school:

Waking Up Laughing

I opened my eyes this morning to the hushed sounds of The Hubbs taking care of The Princess...sitting her on the pot (fruitless, though the endeavor might have been), changing her Pull-Up, setting her up with a sippy cup and a bowl of trail mix to start her day.

The shutting of her bedroom door, and the sound of him retreating to the downstairs office to start his work day.

I couldn't help but smile, thanks to that sweet man.

Mere minutes later I dragged myself out of bed when I heard The Princess singing ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma in her room.  I know it's not on purpose, but every time I hear that sound out of her sweet little mouth I can't stop myself from "answering" by scooping her up for a hug.  She certainly doesn't seem to mind.

Today is our "day off".  No therapy.  No play group.  Just me and my kiddo.

She is currently singing happily while running from one end of the house to the other, raspberry filling from a recent cereal bar smeared across her face, her un-brushed hair flying out in tendrils behind her.  She couldn't be happier. 

Sometimes I get so caught up in the therapies and other hullaballoo that I forget to stop and smell the roses.  Well, not today.

I've been doing a little bit of soul-searching lately, especially this morning...after yesterday being one of "those" days.  I'm beginning to understand what's important to me, and that I'm not alone.

Believe me - this is a big deal for someone who is used to people nodding their heads with empty expressions when she talks about her kid.  They pretend to understand, but they can't possibly even begin to scratch the surface. 

There are so many people out there who truly understand.  It's just a matter of finding them.

You may notice some differences to the format of all the stuff you see to the right side of your screen while you're reading this.  Pay attention.  And if you only follow one of those links, make it diary of a mom. 

This perfect stranger touched me more than she will ever know with her blog and an understanding comment on my previous post.

One of Those Days

I pride myself on being a glass-is-half-full kind of gal.  Ask anyone who knows me...I'd much rather be positive than negative any day of the week.

But sometimes you just can't help it.

I'm having one of those days.  My beautiful, wonderful, sweet little girl is pushing back - hard - against all of her therapies now.  Yes, I understand she's a two-year-old with her own mind and, therefore, her own ideas of what she should and should not have to do.

It's just frustrating that she can't communicate those ideas to me. 

Sure, she can tell me when she's hungry by presenting me with a bowl.  She indicates thirst by handing me a cup.  She hands me her blanket when she wants to swing in it.  She grabs my hand and drags me, incessantly, toward the door because she wants to leave.  Where does she want to go?  I have no clue.  But it's one of the cutest things I've ever seen.

I love these things, these little ways she's found to communicate certain desires to us.  I just wish there was a way to break through the barrier...I have language and she doesn't.

Speaking?  Sorry, not in the cards.

Signing?  Nope.  She doesn't want anything to do with it. 

Photos?  She doesn't seem to grasp the concept.

Pictures (drawings)?  Not even close.

Most days this is no big deal to me and I'm more than happy to just be with my little girl and play detective.  It's a constant investigation, trying to figure out what it is that she wants or needs, and quite often it ends badly.  I can't help it.  As much as I wish I was a mind reader, I'm just not.

She hasn't gone potty in the toilet in days.

I'm just frustrated.  I would never change anything about The Princess...she is who she is, and to change any little part of her would make her, well, just not "her" anymore.

But I have no idea what it feels like to be a regular parent, if there is such a thing.  I don't know what it feels like to say something to my child and for her to look back at me with comprehension, let alone to formulate a response. 

My daughter can't even call me Mommy, Mama, Ma...the connection is just not there.  She can't answer a simple yes/no question with a nod or a shake of the head.  She can't sit still and smile for the camera. 

If you're in a situation like mine, you know what this is all about.  You just can't help it.  Someone shares a story or pictures of their little one, who is around the age of yours, doing things you couldn't possibly dream of your child doing.  Or a friend or family member with a younger child shares something similar...something your kid can't possibly begin to even think about doing, even though they're much older.  You're happy for that person, but you start to feel sad.

Sad for yourself, sure.  But it's more than that.  Look past the mask of self-pity, and you'll see a gut-wrenching fear for the child.  What's their life going to be like when you're not in the room with them?  How are other people going to treat them?  How in the world are you going to protect them from all of the ignorant people out there that simply don't know any better than to pick on these kids?

These days come from time to time, and nothing makes me happier than when that feeling goes away.  I'm going to go play with my little girl, and try to get back on track.

Even Princesses Need A Break Sometimes

My poor sweet little girl has had it.  She has recently started with three new therapists in addition to the one she'd been seeing.  For a little while, she handled everything fine...but even the most patient two-year-old is going to have to assert her independence from time to time.

Julie came by this morning at our new (later, thank goodness!) time.  The moment she set down her toy bag, The Princess jumped right in and brought out the bubbles.  As she's done every other time they've ever played with bubbles, Julie tried to get The Princess to say or sign the word.  The Princess hit the floor.

Poor kiddo just wants no part of it.  We've been parading new people in and out of here like it's some kind of museum, and she's sick of it.  Through the entire hour session today, The Princess threw herself on me no less than thirty-seven times.  When she cooperated with Julie, it was under extreme protest. 

Just before the hour was over, The Princess stormed into her room, grabbed Dirt Pink and flopped on her bed.  Think teenager...that kind of floppage. 

More and more demands are being put on her every day, both from people she knows well and from utter strangers.  It's got to be a lot to deal with.

After she spent about a half-hour calming herself down in her bedroom, I decided to throw the kid a bone and let her watch some Baby Einstein.  I didn't even give her any flack about standing in a daze in front of the TV. 

On a whim I called Grumma to see what was going on in her neck of the woods.  I told her that The Princess was having issues with all of the structure being imposed upon her, and that she could really use some time at Dizzyland (that's what we call my folks' house)...where she's allowed to do anything she wants.  Grumma said to come on over, so we packed everything up lickety-split.

Before heading to Dizzyland, I drove to school with The Hubbs and The Princess.  I needed to return some textbooks I had purchased at the book store before realizing I could save $130 by buying them online.  My new copies had arrived in the mail, so I just needed to get some scratch back for the copies I'd purchased from school.

From there we headed directly to Dizzyland, did not pass go, did not collect $200 (bummer!).  In the driveway we grabbed the diaper bag and unfastened The Princess's seat belt harness.  She was waiting at the front door in the blink of an eye.

I opened the door for her and she shot up two flights of stairs to the living room, making a beeline for the toy bin.  She was happy as a clam, so it seemed like as good a time as ever...

The Hubbs and I took off to catch a matinee showing of "Avatar", which was amazing.  I'm not in the business of reviewing movies, and I don't like to spoil things for other people...just know that we loved it. 

Believe it or not, The Hubbs had never been to Fratello's in Volo, so we headed over there for dinner after the show.  Tuesday is my folks' Fratello's night, and we laughed when we realized Pop and Uncle Harv were likely to show up while we were eating.

Sure 'nuff, The Hubbs looked over my shoulder and saw them first.

I was up out of my seat and on the move...cruised right up to Pop before he even saw me, flung my arm around his waist and said, "Hey, you're kinda cute...wanna come home with me?"  That got a few laughs.  :)

After dinner we visited at Dizzyland for a while and I'm just settling back in at home.  The Princess is all tucked in, wearing her monkey jammies and cuddling her cowboy boot.  I know, right?  But I swear...she's seriously cuddling footwear for bed tonight.

Tomorrow she has the day off.  Even princesses need a break sometimes.

I'd Like Dessert With My Breakfast, Please

Mondays can be hard for some people.  I get that.  I, for one, love them.  Starting this Saturday I will be going to school full-time, and Monday will be my day off.  You know what this means, right?  Spending the day with my princess.

This morning we woke up a little after 9:00 and shared a breakfast of apple cinnamon Cheerios...and when I say we shared it, I mean I fed The Princess and she let me exist in the same room with her and the food.  This kid was hungry!!  Naturally, her hunger couldn't be fought off with a mere gigantic bowl of cereal.  To help combat that little hunger monster I gave her a strawberry fruit-n-cereal bar as her breakfast dessert.

What...you don't have dessert with breakfast?  Who are you people?

After breakfast we came into the living room to watch what was left of Playhouse Disney (not much by that point in time!) and play for a while.  The Princess had a ball picking up handfuls of rocks and dropping them back in the bin, and mixing them all together by plunging her hands in and getting crazy.

Somewhere around lunch time The Princess started getting a bit cranky so into the bath tub she went.  We tried out the bath finger paints (ripoff...they're colored soap and you can't paint with them - not liquidy enough), and The Princess practiced splashing for a good long while. 

If you know my little girl, you know she is not a big fan of meat.  It's funny, actually...give her a piece of meat and she'll eject it with enough force to injure any innocent bystanders who are unfortunate enough to step into the path of the flying reject.

What's not so funny about this is the fact that it's not totally obvious (at least to me) what other foods contain enough protein to substitute for meat.  Peanuts, I know, are high in protein...but what is there other than that?

After a bit of web searching I came across a good site that was easy to navigate, and found that protein is in a lot more than I knew about.  Milk, eggs, bread, cheese, chick peas (yay hummus!) and baked beans are all good sources.  Knowing this, I feel much better.

The Princess feasted on honey graham crackers with peanut butter for lunch, and after that we hopped in the car for our appointment with Sakina.  If you're just tuning in, Sakina is The Princess's once-a-week in-clinic occupational therapist.  She went home to India for vacation shortly after we met her, so it's been three weeks since our second - and most recent - visit. 

Unfortunately, everything we did in those two sessions seems to have been lost over the long gap between visits.  The Princess was bouncing off the walls in the gym again, and unable to concentrate in the therapy room.  No worries, though...we have a standing appointment for every Monday in the foreseeable future, and I'm sure things will even out as our schedule becomes more normalized.

One thing I'm proud to report from today's session is that The Princess signed "potty" to me.  It took me a minute to realize what she was doing, but once I got it she was so happy.  She dragged me across the hall to the potty, went, washed her hands, and returned to the therapy room.  She also signed "play" almost perfectly more than once today.

On the way home from Sakina's clinic, The Princess and I stopped to get the oil changed and to pick up some necessities from the local grocery store. 

Now we're home, it's dark out, and the TV is calling.  And that pizza smells fabulous.  See y'all on the flipside.

Frazzled, But Dazzled

This past week has been a whirlwind...two new therapists came in to meet my sweet little girl and start working with her and I've been doing my best to keep up.  Thank God for Outlook calendars, and the fact that they sync so easily with the ol' CrackBerry!

Monday: this is the day we'd usually have OT in-clinic with Sakina, but she was on vacation so we hung out and played at home instead.

Tuesday: Julie time!

Wednesday: Play group in the morning and then Jill, the new DT, stopped by for our initial appointment.

Thursday: Would have been Julie time, but the poor gal had a bad day with the poopy weather and ended up cancelling.

Friday: Amy, the new in-home OT, came by for her initial visit.

And this is just the scheduled Princess-related stuff!  It doesn't include housework, job hunting, school preparation, housework or housework.

I have to say Amy is a peach.  Must be something in the name, eh?  She made it to our place about 10:30 in the morning on Friday and parked on the living room floor with her gigantic bag of toys.  She and I talked for the majority of the hour, getting paperwork out of the way and getting to know one another.  She's young and pretty, and so easy to talk to.

She tried to engage The Princess in a couple of different activities, but mostly let her highjack any toy that looked appealing.  Kudos to her for this...lots of therapists don't let the kid take charge the first time out, but this is one of the fastest ways to get on The Princess's good side.  Amy understands that she's invading The Princess's territory and that it's a good thing to let the kiddo get used to her a bit first before trying to assert any authority.

We talked about different calming/stimulating methods that can be adapted so they can be used outside of the clinic, and I appreciate her taking the time to go through these things with me.  Amy will be back in two weeks, and will have a rough sensory diet for The Princess the next time she visits.  I'm excited about this prospect, as it seems a lot of The Princess's difficulties seem to be in the sensory processing area.

With all my ranting about therapies and scheduling, I almost forgot to mention the fact that Friday was my mom's birthday.  Happy birthday, Ma!  She went out plowing with Hambone for a while and they both ended up here in the early afternoon.  Surprisingly enough, they stayed for a few hours to visit...so I took that opportunity to bake a last-minute cake for her.

Mmm...red velvet.

Hambone had to take off, so I said I'd take Mom home after dinner.  We made saganaki pizza and Dad dropped by after work to join in the festivities.  Mmm...more red velvet.

Around 9:00 or so, Mom and Pop took off and The Princess went to bed.  The Hubbs and I retired to the dungeon...I mean basement...to watch Fanboys, and loved the hell out of it.  If you have not seen this movie, pop it into your Netflix queue.  You will not be sorry!

Sleep, glorious sleep!

Yesterday we decided to hit Borders to see if we could find a couple of books Amy had recommended.  The coffee was good, but unfortunately they didn't have what I was looking for.

I'm glad to report that the library had one of them, and I'm definitely going to need my own copy.  It's one of the best resources I've found to date for parents of autistic children.  No less than twenty times since I've started reading the book, I've found myself wishing I could bust out the highlighter.  And I can't wait to try these activities with The Princess. 

Check it out: 1001 Great Ideas for Teaching and Raising Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders

I'm currently on the waiting list for the other two, and will let you know what I think when I have a second to check them out.

One thing I've noticed the therapists have been pretty big on is texture bins.  Jill had a salt bin with toys in it, and Amy had pinto beans with craft pom poms.  Both suggested hiding toys inside a bin of something and having The Princess dig them out.

We've started doing this with puzzle pieces - I hide them and when she takes them out, she puts them back in the puzzle board.  We now have seven bins on top of the entertainment center for this kind of play, filled with all kinds of different textures:

Holiday shaped pasta (in three colors, great for sorting!) - Thanks, Nana!
Multi-color pony beads (also great for sorting)
Multi-color glass rocks - the kind you put in vases with fake flowers, etc
Pinto beans
Oatmeal
Rice
River rocks

Changing up the textures makes it more interesting for The Princess, and the bonus to this is that she actually pays attention to what she's playing with.  She plunges those little hands right into the bin and explores the contents with wild abandon.  We've just started this, but I can see it's going to be a hit.

Another new thing we started this weekend was tapping nails and turning screws on her Handy Manny's Repair Shop workbench.  We worked on tapping nails last night, and I added the screws today.  It's great fun to watch her as she figures out how the new things work.  She had tried tapping the screw at first, but quickly figured out - on her own - that they needed to be turned.

This work week is the last before I start my classes, and it's destined to be a busy one.  But I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.

A Perfect Thursday

My house is oddly silent.  The Princess is in bed, The Hubbs is out plowing with Hambone, and the bulldogs are snuggled up on the couch.  I'm getting a bit groggy, and will be heading to bed before too long.

But I just couldn't bring myself to let the day end just yet.  It's been so perfect.

This morning The Princess and I rolled out of our beds at about 9:00 or so and staggered into the kitchen to eat our Cheerios in our (sadly, not matching) feetie jammies.  Looking out the kitchen window, I saw that the snow had started to fall overnight...but my driveway was clear.  Hooray for big brothers with plows on their trucks!

Checking the BlackBerry, I noticed that he had called while we were all still in Slumberland.  The message went something like this: "Hey Sis...that's me making the awful noise in your driveway.  Whatcha up to today?  Gimme a call."

That message was left a full hour before I heard it.  Oops!  This being-out-of-work thing is making me realize I'm not as much of a morning person as I had originally thought.  Turns out I prefer to sleep in a bit in the morning and stay up blogging into the wee hours.

The next couple of hours were spent leisurely getting The Princess and myself dressed, watching some Playhouse Disney, and playing with the kiddo.

All of a sudden I realized I hadn't called Hambone back yet.  Just about the time I started to feel bad about that, he pulled in the driveway.  We all had a quick lunch of ham sandwiches and talked about the storm.  Looked like it'd be a good one and Hambone would hopefully get a good amount of work out of it.  The snow let up for a bit while he was here, and he decided to go home to catch up on things before the second round of plowing needed to be done.

So The Hubbs went back to his basement office and I hung out with the princess.  We started "Sweet Home Alabama" and played with puzzles until The Princess disappeared into her room.  A few minutes later she appeared at my side with her pink fuzzy monkey-print feetie jammies.  She put on her cutest little face and asked me (with her eyes, of course...being a non-talker) to help her get into them. 

It was just so stinkin' cute, I really had no other choice.

After helping The Princess out of her clothes and into her jammies, a wonderful thought occurred to me.  There was really no reason for me to sit around the house in a tee shirt and jeans when I could be rockin' the feeties along with the princess.  So I repeated the process on myself and curled up with a fleece blankie to watch the rest of my movie.

Somewhere along the way Julie called and regaled me with the story of her day, including two spinouts and lots of scheduling mix-ups due to miscommunications with parents.  She sounded so frazzled, and I felt bad for her.  I can certainly relate to having one of those days.  So we agreed to forego today's session so she could get home and throw her feet up for a while.

You know what this meant...no reason for me to get dressed again!  Score one for Momma. 

The snow picked back up in the afternoon, and is getting heavier and heavier as we speak.  During the afternoon hours we got about six more inches, on top of the four or five we had by morning.  Hambone plowed and took The Hubbs with him to do a friend's place about five minutes from here.  By the time they got back (while I've been typing this post) we've gotten about another three.

And it looks like a blizzard out there right now.  Looks like it'll be a long night for Hambone and all of the other plow kings around here.

Funny, though, how snow can be the prettiest thing you've ever seen when you're watching it fall from the comfort of your feetie jammies, snuggled on the couch with your bulldogs and a fuzzy blanket.

Highlight of the Day: Blue Snowflake

I don't know how other moms do it and work full-time.  I know I had a more-than-40-hour-a-week job for the first two and a half years of The Princess's life, but I certainly wasn't as involved as I am now.

This morning we started by dismantling the indoor Christmas decorations.  I put away the tree, the Santa Stitch, all of the ornaments and garland that were placed around the house.  The Peanuts tree, complete with Linus's blanket, was shoved back into its box.  The trifle dishes were emptied of ornaments and returned to their packaging.  Stockings, tree skirt and angel went back into their boxes for another year.

That was no small job.  And I'm still finding little bits of Christmas every time I turn around.  Perhaps by Thanksgiving I'll have gotten it all put away.

By the time 9:30 rolled around, The Princess and I had eaten breakfast and were ready to go.  We hopped into the car and headed to Crystal Lake for the O&A play group while Daddy worked.  Play group was fun, for the most part.  The Princess always enjoys the free play time, and Kiera was kind enough to indulge her with an endless stream of bubbles to play with. 

It was a larger group than normal and The Princess interacted well with the other kiddos, until a couple of little ones started crying.  Unfortunately it got a bit loud for her liking and she began to cry and cover her ears.  She and I walked over to a quiet area by our diaper bag and busted out Dirt Pink (her most favorite blankie).  I laid him (Dirt Pink) on the floor and The Princess got right on and laid down.  Drawing two corners together by her neck and the other two by her feet, I lifted her up and swung her back and forth for a few minutes.

Works like a charm every time.

The Princess, Dirt Pink and I walked over to join everyone else for circle time, where we sang songs and listened to a story called "A Stranger In The Woods".  The Princess was snuggling on my lap and not really participating, but at least she was tolerating the group atmosphere.  If you know her, you know this is a big deal.

After circle time came Mommy's favorite part - craft time!  The project today was to make a snowflake relief painting on blue construction paper using white paint and a cotton ball.  The Princess isn't ever really sure what to do with these art projects, but she's a good sport about letting me help her by doing things hand-over-hand.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present The Princess's art project from today's play group:

This beautiful piece of art is currently adorning my kitchen door. 

After play group we headed home to straighten up a little bit before our new developmental therapist dropped by for her first visit.  Her name is Jill and she's a sweetheart.

The Princess greeted Jill in her usual Julie-fashion...she went straight for the toy bag.  Jill took the time to tell me what DT is all about and, though it's still a rather abstract concept, I appreciate that immensely.  We talked about the OTA program at MCC that's starting in the fall and she may actually be doing that along with me.  She's been interested in OT for a while and is thinking about making a switch before too long.

For a first visit, it went extremely well.  There were no tantrums and no battles of will.  The Princess vocalized requests a couple of times, which is huge...especially with a new person.  The session lasted about 45 minutes until it was no longer productive.  This was fine with me, since I wanted to pick Jill's brain and get a feel for her.

She'll be back in two weeks for the next visit, and The Princess and I have some homework to complete by then.  The homework involves taking turns and imitating, and it should be fun.

Jill took off for her next appointment, and The Princess and I jumped back in the car to return our library books that would have been due tomorrow.  Don't want to get caught in a snowstorm, dontchaknow...

From the library we headed over to Grumma's house where we spent a couple of hours playing and watching Playhouse Disney on On-Demand.  Not to mention digging through snack mix to find favorites and, of course, chasing bubbles around while giggling uncontrollably.

After a stop at the grocery store, The Princess and I are currently chillin' out at home with Daddy and The Girls.  It's been a big day...perhaps it will be an early night.

Yes, I made a turkey. No, you may not have my leftovers.

Popping the top button open on my jeans, I'm taking this short break at the computer to recover from a Thanksgiving-worthy dinner.  Why?  It's Tuesday.  Need a better reason?  Don't have one.  For no particular reason, I baked a 13-lb turkey today and made gravy, mashed potatoes and stuffing to go with it.  I even went the extra mile and cracked a brand-spankin'-new can of cranberries.

The best part?  We don't have to share the leftovers.

Hem and haw all you want.  Call me rude, I don't care.  The fact of the matter is that you'd be just as excited at the prospect of hoarding your turkey dinner leftovers...the difference is that I said it out loud.

We have enough packed Gladware in the fridge to feed our family for a week.  Good thing, too, 'cause it's a busy one.

Yesterday we got a pass...no occupational therapy since Sakina is on vacation.  Julie was here this morning, and The Princess did a great job.  Tomorrow we have play group followed by developmental therapy at home in the afternoon.  Thursday: Julie will be back.  Friday: OT at home with the new 2x/mo therapist.

Add in the facts that Friday is my mom's birthday and we're T-minus 12 days and counting until I start school full-time, and it's about to get crazy around here!  Maybe cooking for a whole week wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Happy New Year!

I challenge you, dear readers, to find a crazier party than the one we threw this New Year's.  The Princess was a real trouper - here's a shot of her at midnight on the nose:

Insane, right?

She had been doing so well - her eyelids finally fluttered shut at 11:57.  The Hubbs and I wished each other "Happy New Year" in hushed tones as we put the sleeping beauty in her bed.  Naturally, this woke her up and she proceeded to play in her room in the dark far later than she should have. 

This morning The Princess and I had a date with my friend M.  We cruised on over to her place to pick her up and went to JC Penney for a little bit of harmless browsing.  After that we were very thirsty, so it only made sense to go to Mickey D's for lunch.  The Princess loves their fries, and though I know they're not that great for her, it's something she'll eat.  That's always a plus. 

After lunch we hung out at M's place for a while before heading back home.  The Hubbs was a bit restless, so we decided to load up the sled and head over to Grumma and Grumpa's house.  I was excited to find that my new mittens had been completed, and here I am in the whole winter ensemble, towing my precious cargo in the back yard:

Before too long, The Princess started to fuss.  Which quickly turned into a full-out scream.  The poor thing was overheating in her winter gear, so we nixed the sledding mission in favor of an activity that can fix anything.

After The Princess's bath, we put her in some fuzzy feetie jammies and braided her hair.  She's a real sport about the hair, and it always looks so cute the next day when she lets me do it.  Once this was taken care of, she climbed right back into her favorite spot in the house...the toy box!

Cheers to all of you wonderful people who take the time to read my musings.  Here's hoping you find health, wealth and happiness in the coming year.

'Twas the Day Before New Year's Eve

'Twas the day before New Year's Eve, and all through the Tucky
The Princess was nothing if she wasn't lucky. 
Her Nana and Grampy and JAK were to come
And so was Aunt Marli, to join in the fun!

Here's Nana with the kiddos, showing their smiles:

Aunt Marli wasn't so fortunate...escape's the new style:

K walked on her own in our little girl's room:

The Princess was elated to see the fam again so soon:

We ate and we talked, and we talked and we ate

Too soon they had to go, so Mar wouldn't be late

She hopped a plane home and we got in our jammies

The Princess laid down with her piggies and lambies

And when she awoke, she couldn't conceive

The party to come - it was New Year's Eve!

Christmas, Christmas, Everywhere!

My house looks as though it's been hit by a tornado...no, perhaps an atomic bomb.  There's Christmas shrapnel everywhere I look, and as I try to find a peaceful spot to rock in the fetal position I am reminded of the fact that it will get bigger and bigger every year as The Princess starts to want things and family members oblige.  So I begin to chant...enjoy it while it's here, this may be the last Christmas without the added wonders of Santa Claus and gift lists.

All in all, it was a wonderful holiday.  On Christmas Eve, The Princess got all gussied up (in the same dress she wore for Christmas day last year - hooray for outfit-repeating...especially at this age!!) and decided she loved ornaments.  Not having had any on the pre-lit tree this year for fear of Destructo doing them in, she was elated when I handed her one. 

After snapping these (most excellent) photos, we took off for Uncle Hambone's house for the festivities.  In keeping with tradition, there was grumbling and bickering, starving and nervous giggling, eating and calming down, and waaaay too many presents!  Dinner was served at about 10:00, after which we dug into the pile of loot.

The Princess, of course, found her big present the moment we got there...considering it would have been hard to wrap.

After checking out the tricycle and getting a tutorial about putting her feet on the pedals and pushing, The Princess decided she really needed to get down and dirty, and figure out how the heck this thing worked.

Happy with the mechanical aspects, The Princess moved on to more presents and lots of paper.  The bubble wrap was an especially big hit.

After presents we decided it was probably time to hit the road, so The Hubbs started bringing our loot to the car.  A couple of minutes after he went out there was a knock on the door...he came in with a look of absolute horror on his face.  The tricycle had self-destructed. 

Turns out it wasn't a big deal - just a grumpy bolt that was easily fixed - and the tricycle is now residing smack dab in the middle of our living room.  The Princess's favorite part is the pedals...they spin so well!

When we got home from Uncle Hambone's house The Princess was sleeping peacefully in her car seat.  I couldn't bring myself to upset her so I took her in her Christmas dress and laid her in her bed for the night.  She didn't budge.

Next morning, we awoke early to make the trek to The Hubbs' folks' place.  His grandpa's birthday is on Christmas day and there's always a big breakfast with that side of the family, chowing home-made crepes and excellent bacon.  Can't miss that!

After breakfast we plopped in the living room to open presents with The Hubbs' folks and JAK.  Unfortunately, I left my BlackBerry at home...so I didn't get to take any pictures.  :(

BUT...Nana kindly sent me three of the best The Princess photos from her camera.  Thanks, Nana!

Here's The Princess with Daddy, yukkin' it up:

And here she is checking out the decorations on the coffee table:

And this one we like to call Princess Babboon Butt...displaying her shiny red bloomers for the world.  K wasn't sure what the heck was going on, and is looking over her shoulder at the crazy people.  :)

After the present extravaganza with Nana and Company, the Reardon Clan started showing up for dinner.  The Princess really enjoyed the turkey and homemade cranberry sauce...not to mention the pumpkin cheesecake.

All in all it was a great Christmas, though we're still trying to find homes for all the new stuff.  This poor little house seems to be shrinking by the minute...time to go through and throw out some old crap to make room!

Here's her big present from Nana and Grampy - the Handy Manny Repair Shop.  Coolest.  Thing.  Ever.  We just couldn't wait to get this thing put together, regardless of the lack of space.  It now lives in the middle of the living room, between the treadmill and the tricycle.

Here's hoping your holiday was as filled with food, family and fun as ours was.

Merry Christmas!

This is always a crazy time, and it seems the month between Thanksgiving and Christmas has a way of speeding up more and more every year.  I find myself surprised, once again, at how quickly Christmas has arrived.

I know there's always lots to do, but let's all do ourselves a favor and take this time to slow down.  Turn off the TV, put away the Nintendo DS, and - God forbid - put the BlackBerry or iPhone in a drawer.  Now look around...what do you see?

I see my two American bulldogs, Dee and Sookie, without whom our lives would be dangerously close to boring.  Never in my life have I known such a protector as Dee.  But fear not...once she gets to know you she's got nothin' but love for ya.  Sookie, on the other hand, falls in love with every human she meets within seconds.  If it wasn't for Dee, any intruders would be greeted by a cutesy little gal rolling onto her back in hopes of a good ol' fashioned belly rub.

I see my husband, the love of my life.  Without him, who knows...I may still be living at home with my mom and dad, singing karaoke at every opportunity.  Not that that would be bad, but I wouldn't be a wife with a house and two loving bulldogs.  This man has made such a difference in my life.

And he's given me the greatest gift of all - a daughter.  This little girl is gorgeous, and so affectionate.  Sure, she poops her pants and cries instead of talking...but I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world.  Add to that the fact that I'm finally getting some time with her at home, and I couldn't be happier.

These people, furry or not, are what it's all about.  Now add in my folks, his folks, our siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews, and tell me this:

How could life get any better?

From the bottom of my heart, I wish you and your families the merriest of Christmases this year.  Don't forget to slow down and enjoy it.

One Productive Monday

Another busy day here in the Tucky!

This afternoon I took The Princess over to Milestones for her OT with Sakina.  What a difference from last week, when she was all oh-my-gosh-look-at-all-the-stuff-I-must-play-with-everything-right-NOW!  We made our way into the gym and The Princess spent a good amount of time in the swings.  Sakina explained to me how some movements can be stimulating and others can be calming.  I'm excited to put this into practice at home.

After blowing off some steam in the gym we all headed across the hall to the therapy room, where The Princess and Sakina strung beads, put pegs into a pegboard and colored with markers.  The Princess was unbelievably attentive - it's really amazing to see the difference OT can make in her concentration and overall demeanor.

When we were done in the therapy room, Sakina took The Princess into the hall to roll on a little scooter for a bit.  She wasn't sure about it at first, but quickly caught on to the workings of the thing and scooted herself from Sakina to me...earning a great big hug when she got there. 

Before leaving, we stopped off at the ol' potty where The Princess showed off her still-dry Pull-Up and tinkled like a champ.  She was extremely entertained by the sink that turns on when you put your hands under it, and splashed a little more than was completely necessary...but it was cute as a button.  As I was wiping down the counter, The Princess grabbed the diaper bag and dragged it to the door.  When I caught up with her and opened the door, she proceeded to drag the diaper bag down the hall to the door into the waiting room.  So cute!

Home again, home again, jiggity-jig.

On the way, I called school to find out what the testing center hours are for this week.  They gave me the info and I came home to do a little more reviewing.  I had decided to put math off as long as possible, and took off at about 4:30 to take my English/reading tests.

They said to allow two hours for this test.  Forty minutes after starting, I was very surprised to find I had finished.  I stepped out of the testing center to the desk, and was told I had scored 100%.  Yippee!  Since I had planned to be there longer anyway, I figured what the heck...so I went back in and took the math test.  Not perfect, by any means, but not bad either.

After taking my placement exams I headed down the hall to leave.  I noticed that the admissions office was still open, so I stepped inside to see if there was an advisor around who could help with my course placement.  It just so happened that there was an advisor there with no one else waiting, so I sat down with her and I now have my schedule for the spring semester.  I'll be taking English, Computer Literacy, Biology and MCC101 (college intro) on campus; and psych as a telecourse.

I'm officially a full-time student, starting in January.

Sis-In-Law Is Fine And I'm An Idiot, But I Make Cute Things

Six days and counting until the Christmas madness begins at the in-laws' house!

If you're here because you know me, you are already aware of the fact that my brother's wife went in for surgery yesterday.  The doctors were throwing the big scary C-word around with wild abandon leading up to this procedure, and I am ecstatic to report that THEY WERE WRONG.  There was no cancer - it was endometriosis.  They removed the masses, performed a hystorectomy and removed her appendix.  She's resting on Cloud 9 with her push-button pain relief as you are reading this.

Last week I enrolled at the local county college so I can go back and get my certificate to be a COTA (Certified Occupational Therapist Assistant).  I also picked up a study guide from the school bookstore to refresh my memory on math a bit before I take the placement tests.  Yesterday, between other things, I pulled out the study guide and proceeded to feel dumber by the moment.  We're talking basic math, people!  I used to be good at this stuff - I was in calculus in high school.  And here I was, reduced to a blubbering pile of goo by this blue booklet that was taunting me with things I've long forgotten.  Slowly but surely, it's coming back. 

Since the Christmas Countdown is where it is, well, I figured it was as good a time as any to embark upon a last-minute craft project for the whole family.  I can't tell you what it is here, since most of you are getting one, but I'll post pics after Christmas.  It's a fun project, and it's great to be able to sit down and work on it for a while when my math incompetence gets to be too much to handle.

Now, if I could only find a place to hide all these projects when The Hubbs' fam comes over tomorrow...

The Times, They Are A-Changin'

Hey y'all!

What with all of the recent changes in my life, I figured it was about time to revamp the old blogosphere.  Welcome to my new world, now entitled "One Mom's Journey".

Stay tuned for updates about our adventures, and let me know what ya think about the new layout!

Lunch With The Gals, Play Group, and A Nice Little Surprise

Big day today!

The Princess and I headed down to the old office to meet up with some friends from work and get my last check (more on the check later).  The ride down was uneventful, mostly due to the fact that we left home at about 10:30 so we were blessed with the absence of the usual rush hour idiots.

When we arrived at the office the receptionist called the HR chick, who came up to meet me.  Her face lit up when she saw The Princess and she immediately said she had hoped I'd be bringing her along.  The Princess hasn't been to the office in quite a while, and we all know how fast little ones can change.  In HR Chick's office, we talked for a couple of minutes and played with the greatest thing known to toddlerhood - bubbles!  HR Chick is a grandma and just happened to have little wedding-favour-sized bottles in her file cabinet for such occasions.  Good thinkin'!  HR Chick quickly made her way onto The Princess's list of Grown Ups Who Don't Suck.

After collecting my last check (which should have been dated 12/4) we got permission to go upstairs to surprise our pals.

Up the millions of stairs - hey, to a toddler who has no stairs in her house 20 stairs is a lot! - into the good ole cube farm.  We stopped by my buddy Rick's desk, but he wasn't there.  Bummer.  The Princess made a grand entrance into Rolinda's cube, running in uninvited and undetected for a moment before he turned around to find a 2-year-old staring him in the face.  :)  Rolilnda told us that Ricky Rick Rick was in E's office...E was going to lunch with us so I didn't feel bad interrupting.

We trekked across the cube farm to the wall-o-offices, and I aimed The Princess at E's door...giving her a little push.  Ricky Rick Rick looked down, his eyes got as big as saucers, and then he looked up with this big ol' goofy grin to say hi.  I think the last time he saw The Princess she was just learning to walk.  Time flies!  E had a little Scooby Doo lunch box with a handle that made fantastic sounds, and she even gave The Princess a smiley-face sticker. 

From there we hit the potty and ran into Betts at the sinks - she was the last member of our lunch group that we had yet to see.  Her face lit up and we hugged right there in the bathroom.  Glad no one walked in...might have looked funny to an outsider!

The Princess, Rolinda, E, Betts and I headed out for an upscale lunch at this jazzy place called McDonald's...and had an absolutely fabulous time.  I may not miss the job, but I sure do miss the people.

I am so excited for Betts, who is retiring in January.  Way to go, lady!

Through this whole visit, The Princess was an absolute angel.  All smiles and not a grumpy sound coming out of her.  I'm a lucky momma.

After Happy Meals, we headed back to the car and said goodbye to our pals.  The Princess got comfortably strapped into her car seat with a toy and we took off for home.

About half-way home it occurred to me that I had never looked at my check.  Imagine my surprise as I opened it and found out, while driving, that it was fully three times what I had expected it to be.  Merry Christmas!  I guess it was worth the wait after all, eh?

After stopping at the bank and the post office to deposit that check and send out our Christmas cards, we stopped home to hang out with Daddy for a couple of hours.

Off to play group! 

Those of you who follow this blog are already aware that the last play group did not end well.  I am happy to report that today's play group was a success.  The Princess had fun during free play, helped to clean up when it was over - which was HUGE, actually sat for circle time, and was in on all of the activities...including craft time. 

We didn't make it this far last time, but it was big fun today.  We made a Christmas tree using construction paper, glue, yarn and foam stickers.  Ooh, and we drew stars in the night sky with chalk.  And as an extra added bonus: there's even snow under the tree.

After craft time we had a snack and did a little more circle time before taking off to chill out for the evening. 

I'm very proud of my little girl...this was a lot for anyone to do in a day, and she was a champ through it all.  I love being a mommy. *happy sigh*

I've Found What I Was Meant To Do

Whew...what a day!

This morning started out with a trip to MCC to meet with a recruiter in the admissions office.  I talked to a nice woman named Helen who helped me with what I need to do to get started.  She gave me the FAFSA application, as well as the new student application form for the college.  She also set me up with a printout that outlines the courses included in the Certified Occupational Therapist Assistant (COTA) program, as well as examples of the places where COTAs can work.

Back home to fill out paperwork.  Not too bad, all considered - it took less than an hour for everything I needed to do.  Called the guidance office at my high school to get the application to have my transcript sent over to the college, filled that out, and will be dropping it off within the next day or two.

All of a sudden it was lunch time.  I scarfed a quick peanut butter and honey sandwich, got The Princess out of her jammies and into jeans and a cute little shirt from Nana, and loaded her in the car.  We headed back out to Crystal Lake for The Princess's first occupational therapy appointment at Milestones with Sakina.

Sakina is a wonderfully cheerful, outgoing woman, who was tailor-made to work with kids.  Milestones is a combination playground/classroom setting where she and her COTAs work with differently-abled kids from 0-21 years of age.

Sakina met us in the waiting room (we were half an hour early thanks to my obsessive-compulsive fear of being late!), and was all smiles as we introduced ourselves.  From there, The Princess and I shucked our shoes and headed into the gym to see what kind of thing we were getting ourselves into.

The gym.  When Sakina said we were going to the gym I wasn't sure what to expect.  I mean, this clinic is in a small storefront office in a business park, and it sure didn't seem like there was going to be enough room in this little place for a gym.  Once she led us into the back, I changed my tune.  The gym is a large room with a whole wall of mirrors facing a sea of crash pads, swings, a slide that shoots kids out into a ball pit, a trampoline, a wedge to run up and down (with super-cushy crash pads at the bottom for jumping into), and I'm sure there was more I'm not remembering now.

The Princess had a blast, especially with the ball pit.  She went down the slide a few times, running up the stairs in between to get another turn.  The trampoline was also a hit.  Cutest.  Thing.  Ever.

I told Sakina that I am currently in the process of registering at MCC for the COTA program, and her face lit up.  It turns out that she was on the committee that initiated this program at the college, and she's super-excited that it's coming.  And once she knew I was interested in getting into the profession, she kindly gave me an overview of things from her perspective. 

I'm especially excited to report that COTAs get to do all of the fun stuff OTs do, the main difference being that a COTA can't administer evaluations.  This is done by the OT who leads the staff.  Sakina assured me that my choice to become a COTA is a good one - most people who go into this field take this route, and continue their education while gaining valuable experience working with kiddos who need their help.  Otherwise, it would be six years of full-time school to get the OT qualifications start to finish.

Sakina explained that each session typically starts out with 20-30 minutes in the gym, letting the kids blow off some steam doing their favorite activities.  This helps them to rid themselves of excess energy, preparing them for more one-on-one learning time.

When we finished in the gym, Sakina led The Princess and me across the hall to a small room with kiddo-sized tables and chairs.  The Princess sat with Sakina and strung beads, put pegs into a board (and actually cleaned up when she was done - bonus!), drew on the chalkboard, and made Mommy and Daddy a most excellent picture of a crazy-colored penguin using these gigantic markers.  FYI - the markers didn't taste very good, apparently...and The Princess still has a bright green bottom lip!

All in all, it was a very good first impression.

After having talked with Heather, our service coordinator, and other people who work in industries that help differently-abled people, I've come to know that there's a huge shortage of OTs...specifically those who work with EI (Early Intervention - Illinois' state-funded program for kiddos from 0-3...this is the program The Princess is currently in).  Based on that and the fact that I want to help other kids like The Princess, I came to the conclusion that I wanted to be a COTA. 

But I'd never even seen a facility before.  How did I know I was going to like it?  I couldn't possibly know that...I just had a feeling.  A feeling that has now been reinforced with a great experience at a wonderful place with a fantastic OT.

Not only was Sakina great with The Princess, but she helped me to understand what I'll be getting into when I enter the field.  I couldn't be more thankful.

Or excited.  Or hopeful.

I think it's official: I've found what I was meant to do.

After leaving Milestones, we drove across town to turn in my enrollment application at MCC and I picked up the study guide for the placement tests I'll need to take before choosing my courses.

It's all coming together.  Must be a sign.  :)

Everything Happens For A Reason

I've always been a firm believer in signs and that old adage: "Everything happens for a reason".

Losing my job in November was a blow, to say the least.  I'd been with the company for eight and a half years...started there before I was even old enough to drink.  Funny how you can get attached to a job to such an extent that you can start to feel helpless without it. 

For a long time now I've been thinking about what I'd be good at, what I'd like to do professionally.  I always find myself coming back to one thing - I want to be able to do something to help kids like The Princess.

But how can I do that?  I'm a 28-year-old mother of a 2-year-old autistic girl, and we need to support our family.

The Hubbs and I were discussing this very subject earlier this week after a particularly difficult day in the never-ending job search.  Our case worker had called to confirm a few things about upcoming changes in The Princess's services through the state, and I half-jokingly asked her if there were any job openings in her organization.  She said only if I get certified to become an OT (occupational therapist).

Hmm.

So we started musing about the possibility of my going to school to get my degree.  I've never taken any college courses, so I've got to be eligible for grants, etc., right?  How can we work it so we can keep the house?

All the beginnings of a pipe-dream, really.

Yesterday we found out that it is going to happen - and sooner rather than later.  I will be able to go to school to get my certification as an OT assistant, with the possibility of continuing on for the full OT credentials along the way.  I have a meeting on Monday with the admissions office at our community college to get the ball rolling for (hopefully) the spring semester.

I don't know how we've been so lucky, but I am thankful each and every day for everything we've been blessed with since we met five years ago.  When things are right, they're right.

For Jello

It's been a while since I've posted.  I blame this on life...so much going on, so little time for the extras.  The thought of posting a blog has crossed my mind, fleetingly, many times since I last wrote.  It's like when you realize you haven't talked to your mom in two weeks, the thought only ever occuring to you at the most inopportune time, like when you get up to pee at three o'clock in the morning.

Since I've been so lax in my writing lately, I guess it's time for another catch-all session including everything that's happened to me in the last month or so.  Here goes nothin'...

On November twentieth I lost my job.  Yeah.  Happy stinkin' holidays, right?  Since then I've been blasting my resume out to anyone who'll take a look, without success.  I've had a couple of random calls from companies to which I didn't apply (odd, right?) soliciting me for sales positions.  I have all the respect in the world for people who excel at sales...I just don't think I'd be good at this.  Plus, there's the fact that I need to support a family here, and there's no guaranteed salary in these positions.  Just commission.

So on I look.

In the meantime I've applied for unemployment, and will find out in the near future if they've deemed me worthy.  I can't imagine any good reason why they wouldn't, but am kind of freaking out about the unknown.  What if they say no?

There's always the 401k.  I know it's a last resort, but at least it's there if things get bad.

Two days after losing my job I threw out my back.  This is starting to sound like a pity party, I know, but it's not meant that way.  It's just what happened, I kid you not.  I'm still not completely recovered, but at least now I can seem to make it through the day without tears of pain or feeling like I'm gonna pass out.  I see this as a bonus.

The real upside to all of this is that I get to spend time with The Princess.  I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home mommy and I'm getting to play at that a little bit while I'm on the job search.  Though the circumstances are not ideal, I wouldn't trade this time with my daughter for anything in the world.

And the stress of that job is gone, which is another plus.  Things had been going downhill at my previous employer for a couple of years and morale was low, to say the least.  Being home for these few weeks has made me realize I may have been in the wrong position there.  Now that I'm home, I find that I am a better listener and am more relaxed.  My mind isn't constantly racing, trying to figure out how I'm going to put out the next fire at the office.

I think it would be great if I could get a job working with people again...real people, rather than high-powered corporate clients whose sole ambition is to get ahead regardless of who they step on along the way.  I'd love to do something working with people on a personal level.  Child care, patient services at a hospital, that kind of thing.

We'll see how it goes.

For now I'm pounding the pavement and getting my name and credentials out there.  Not much more I can do on this front until I get that magical phone call.

My Christmas lights are up on the outside of the house, and they are adorable.  We got a new set of ceramic multi-color C-9's this year, so the place resembles a gingerbread house in the evening.  We even splurged on a timer so I didn't have to climb to the back of the garage to plug them in and turn them off each day.  Bonus!

Christmas tree is up.  Autistic 2-year-old is enthralled, to say the least.  I'm happy to report we had the foresight to stick with only the pre-lit tree, sans garland and ornaments, this year.  My red and gold angel is perched on top, thankfully out of The Princess's reach.  The night we put it up was trying to say the least...I don't think we went 25 seconds without her grabbing a branch and yanking, resulting in the inevitable "no" and temper tantrum that follow.  She's pretty much used to it now, which is nice...lots less yelling around here.  :)

I've cleared off the back of the piano as well as the entertainment center, and redecorated those areas.  The piano area will stay this way for a while, with the exception of the glittery magic wand in the rubber tree...which is the only themed decoration for Christmas. 

The entertainment center is now the home of our Christmas Stitch, dressed as Santa Claus.  On either side we've put a bowl of ornaments and garland, and the stockings are hung on the wall behind.  It's very cute, but will inevitably need to be replaced with something else after New Year's.

Here's a different view of the entertainment center so you can see the stockings, etc., in all their glory:

Other than that, there are a few small decorations on top of the china cabinet in the kitchen:

Oh, the kitchen!  It's almost done.  Not sure when the counter and backsplash will be completed, but the paint and wainscoting are done (as long as you don't look behind the fridge!).  Pics to come later on that.

I just realized I forgot to mention Thanksgiving in there...we had my family over for dinner here, and handled everything ourselves - even with my aching back.  I baked a 15-lb turkey to perfection (not to toot my own horn or anything, but toot toot!!), and made stuffing, mashed potatoes, scalloped corn and pumpkin cheesecake to go with it.  Mom, Dad and Hambone joined us for dinner, and D and Robert showed up after.  All in all, a nice quiet evening with the fam.

Since I'm going all ADD in this post, let's jump ahead to last week. 

On Wednesday I took The Princess to her first-ever play group.  It was in Crystal Lake, and was run by the non-profit place we work with for The Princess's autism services.  The first half-hour was free play, which she loved (surprise, surprise).  She found a little play hut with balls inside - you know, the kind they put in ball pits for little kids? - and didn't budge.  She played peek-a-boo with me and a lady from NISRA, and was really enjoying herself. 

Then a little boy came into her tent, stood up and took off.  With the tent.  The Princess was all, "No way, dude!", and grabbed a side of the tent to drag back to its original location - prime real estate, you know, with its ball-pittiness and such.  She then proceeded to place the tent on the floor and sit on the side so it couldn't go anywhere.

That's right.  My little girl is just slightly possessive.  But there was no meltdown and no hitting, so I see this as a good thing!

She saved the meltdown for circle time.

Just as free play was getting good, some silly grown-up decided it would be fun (yeah, right!) to put the toys away and go sit quietly in a circle while she read a book.  The Princess?  So not into it.  Squirming, yelling, and getting ready for a full-blown tantrum in the middle of the floor, I scooped her up and took her over to the table for a big ol' glass of Shut Up.  That's what we call anything yummy in a sippy cup - no better way to avert certain jerkitude...believe me, we know from experience.

We watched from the sidelines for a while, but The Princess didn't want anything to do with the group activities.  After about an hour at the play group we snuck out and came home.  Honestly, I hadn't thought she'd last that long, so this was a pretty successful first time.

Two days later we had The Princess's annual evaluation with Early Intervention, and the short synopsis is this: we're keeping speech therapy twice a week at home with Julie, adding occupational once a week at a clinic and twice a month at home, and adding developmental twice a month at home.  It's about to get busier around here!

In some roundabout way, I think I've pretty much covered the last few weeks.  Here's hopin' I remember to post more often from now on so I don't have to do these War-and-Peace-length rants anymore.

But just in case I don't...Merry Christmas, y'all!